After a tireless two day ride, our exhausted trio makes camp just outside Justice, figuring that they'll be no use to Tralamin if they can't hold a sword. When Feer and Jarmangle awaken, however, they discover Robyn is gone; she's left a note saying that she's gone scouting ahead.
Heading into Justice, Feer and Jarmangle are immediately set upon by a party of drow. As they struggle against overwhelming numbers, a new figure appears, in the form of a changeling mortician, Mortis. Slowly, the tide turns, and, as it does, one of the drow begins to act suspiciously like Tralamin.
Both the drow and our heroes soon realize that this is precisely the case. The drow are defeated, and Tralamin explains that, finding himself in a drow city for several days, he had no choice but to disguise himself as a female drow using his magical hat. The others are slightly miffed, but forgiving; Mortis, being on the outside, questions why Jarmangle and Feer hang around with this guy, and they have no answer.
Mortis himself is subject to questioning, and he reveals that he runs a funeral parlor/Temple of Death in the desert somewhere between Hodam and Justice. As he tends to the remains, he finds a childish drawing that Feer recognizes is meant to represent Jarmangle, Tyne, and Hanoonk. It's at this time that Tralamin reveals that, when he found himself teleported to Justice, Hanoonk was there also, and that he may have sold the goblin into slavery.
Again, Mortis wonders just why the hell Jarmangle and Feer hang out with him.
The group decides to venture into the drow city, with Tralamin and Mortis taking on the guise of female drow. Jarmangle uses the corpse of a dire tiger to fashion a Rakshasa disguise, but soon realizes that it is completely ridiculous. So, instead, Jarmangle and Feer simply pretend to be the slaves/bodyguards of the other drow.
Somehow, they manage to get into the city without attracting suspicion. Finding their way to the slave quarters, they meet a female goblin, Banvyre, who tells them that Hanoonk has entered a gladitorial tournament to win his freedom. Facepalming simultaneously, the group heads to the colliseum.
There, they attempt a perhaps ill-planned slave revolt, and find themselves needing to escape. Their salvation seems near in a secret passageway. Said passageway, however, leads to the chambers of the drider champion of the colliseum. Jarmangle finds himself locked in with the drider, and attempts a seduction. The drider is actually receptive, but tries to kill Jarmangle after the act. The others manage to get into the room, and together they defeat the drider.
Having caused enough mayhem for one day, they high-tail it to the surface, Banvyre and Hanoonk in tow. Having saved the day, they head back to the Bell of Harvest, along with their new friend, to witness the wedding of Tyne and Leesa. Captain Bergris is present, but keeps his distance from both his estranged daughter and son.
It's at some point during the ceremony that they remember that Robyn had gone scouting ahead, and is likely still in the drow city.
Showing posts with label tyne. Show all posts
Showing posts with label tyne. Show all posts
6.01.2011
19. Into the Fog
Our heroes awaken on the pirate boat, docked at a fog-enshrouded isle. Tralamin has disappeared, leaving behind his magic compass Bradbury, and Jarmangle has somehow joined the others, with no memory of where he has been. Robyn, for whatever reason, does not wake from her slumber. The ship is otherwise empty, with the three pirates they had locked in the hold having disappeared. They try to use Bradbury to suss out Tralamin's location, but find that Bradbury is not properly functioning. The group decides to venture onto the island, slinging Robyn over a spectral horse summoned by Irving.
The adventurers encounter a small and rather creepy child, who directs their attention to his house, a large mansion overlooking a gated cemetery. At the house, they're surprised to find Tyne, dressed as a maid and with apparently no memory of her brother and his friends.
Other bits of weirdness abound. Feer's Mirror of Truth reveals that the lady of the house has no eyes. Said matron works a small knife into her own palm, which causes nosebleeds in those observing. The man of the house sits in his study, surrounded by fresh copies of books that are nearly a hundred years old. He alone seems to understand that there's something terribly amiss here, and tries to impart to our heroes a cryptic warning.
As they explore the house and its surrounding environs, the group splits up. Tyne disappears and reappears, seemingly without reason. Jarmangle finds himself alone with the palm-knifing lady and, despite the group's earlier surmise that she was an eyeless ghost of some sort, proceeds to bed her, much to her screeching delight. This tryst is interrupted when the group discovers that a coterie of stone gargoyles have carried off the still-unconscious Robyn to the graveyard.
The group gives chase, and battle is joined. The pantless Jarmangle is frequently knocked over as the mobile gargoyles fly by. Robyn finally awakens, and together the group soon makes short work of the gargoyles.
Exploring the cemetary, they discover the grave of the small boy they met at the dock-- much to the chagrin of the apparently alive small boy, who seems fearful of his mother. They find the bodies of the three pirates, all having met the same grisly demise: their skulls have been cracked open, and the brains sucked out. At last they decipher the father's warning: beware the illithids.
Venturing back into the house, they find a secret passageway into the basement. Strapped to a slab in that basement is Tyne, subject to some feverish torment; watching over her are three illithids: a man, a woman, and a child.
The battle that follows is, in a word, disastrous. The group huddles in a narrow passageway, firing arrows and spells into the room. The illithids move to the corners of the room, avoiding the projectiles, and sneak their way to the passage, using their dangerous psychic magics to stun the group. The lady illithid zeroes in on Irving and, considering the brain of a wizard-skunk to be a delicacy, proceeds to suck it out of his tiny skull, dropping his lifeless body on the cold, dank floor.
His friends panic, yet barely manage to turn the battle in their favor. They discover that Tyne has some sort of parasite burrowing into her brain. This, too, causes them to panic, and Jarmangle laments that Irving is no longer there to advise them on a reasonable course of action. Robyn and Feer manage to remove the parasite, but are unsure of the extent of the damage.
They return to the dock and pile into the lifeboat, as there is still no wind to power the ship. As they paddle onward, seemingly in circles, the fog suddenly lifts and they find themselves approaching the Bell of Harvest.
Tyne, still reeling and feverish, receives a mental message from Tralamin, revealing that he is in Justice, and surrounded on all sides by drow. The group pieces together that this is where Jarmangle has been, and that somehow, the strange magicks of the fog has switched the two. Leaving Tyne in the care of her bride-to-be Leesa, and pausing only to give Irving their traditional throw-the-body-into-the-air-set-it-on-fire-and-let-it-land-in-the-water send-off, the remaining trio speed towards Justice on a despearte rescue mission.
The adventurers encounter a small and rather creepy child, who directs their attention to his house, a large mansion overlooking a gated cemetery. At the house, they're surprised to find Tyne, dressed as a maid and with apparently no memory of her brother and his friends.
Other bits of weirdness abound. Feer's Mirror of Truth reveals that the lady of the house has no eyes. Said matron works a small knife into her own palm, which causes nosebleeds in those observing. The man of the house sits in his study, surrounded by fresh copies of books that are nearly a hundred years old. He alone seems to understand that there's something terribly amiss here, and tries to impart to our heroes a cryptic warning.
As they explore the house and its surrounding environs, the group splits up. Tyne disappears and reappears, seemingly without reason. Jarmangle finds himself alone with the palm-knifing lady and, despite the group's earlier surmise that she was an eyeless ghost of some sort, proceeds to bed her, much to her screeching delight. This tryst is interrupted when the group discovers that a coterie of stone gargoyles have carried off the still-unconscious Robyn to the graveyard.
The group gives chase, and battle is joined. The pantless Jarmangle is frequently knocked over as the mobile gargoyles fly by. Robyn finally awakens, and together the group soon makes short work of the gargoyles.
Exploring the cemetary, they discover the grave of the small boy they met at the dock-- much to the chagrin of the apparently alive small boy, who seems fearful of his mother. They find the bodies of the three pirates, all having met the same grisly demise: their skulls have been cracked open, and the brains sucked out. At last they decipher the father's warning: beware the illithids.
Venturing back into the house, they find a secret passageway into the basement. Strapped to a slab in that basement is Tyne, subject to some feverish torment; watching over her are three illithids: a man, a woman, and a child.
The battle that follows is, in a word, disastrous. The group huddles in a narrow passageway, firing arrows and spells into the room. The illithids move to the corners of the room, avoiding the projectiles, and sneak their way to the passage, using their dangerous psychic magics to stun the group. The lady illithid zeroes in on Irving and, considering the brain of a wizard-skunk to be a delicacy, proceeds to suck it out of his tiny skull, dropping his lifeless body on the cold, dank floor.
His friends panic, yet barely manage to turn the battle in their favor. They discover that Tyne has some sort of parasite burrowing into her brain. This, too, causes them to panic, and Jarmangle laments that Irving is no longer there to advise them on a reasonable course of action. Robyn and Feer manage to remove the parasite, but are unsure of the extent of the damage.
They return to the dock and pile into the lifeboat, as there is still no wind to power the ship. As they paddle onward, seemingly in circles, the fog suddenly lifts and they find themselves approaching the Bell of Harvest.
Tyne, still reeling and feverish, receives a mental message from Tralamin, revealing that he is in Justice, and surrounded on all sides by drow. The group pieces together that this is where Jarmangle has been, and that somehow, the strange magicks of the fog has switched the two. Leaving Tyne in the care of her bride-to-be Leesa, and pausing only to give Irving their traditional throw-the-body-into-the-air-set-it-on-fire-and-let-it-land-in-the-water send-off, the remaining trio speed towards Justice on a despearte rescue mission.
4.10.2011
18. Escort Mission
A lot of stuff happened.
Irving discovered that the only way to remove Jarmangle's cursed mustache was to cut it off, but they could not locate Jarmangle.
Tralamin and Irving put in bids in the Hodam Mayoral election. Some goblins came looking for Ugblar's rings, and the group lied to them, claiming they didn't find the rings.
Melany talks to the group, sans Tralamin, about Tralamin's recent suspicious behavior, including soliciting assassins to kill Melany. Irving tries to pass it off as one of Tralamin's quirks, but assures Melany that they'll prevent anything bad from happening to her.
The group set out to escort Leesa and her sister, Hank, back to their father's homestead in the Bell of Harvest. They took a contingent of whores, a supply of booze along with them, and the dragon they had arrested along with them.
They came across the ruins of an Ettercap village, and two of the orcs that had slaughtered that village. They fought and slew the orcs and discovered battle plans that implied that Bergris's pirates were working with the orcs against the gnollish tribes.
They stopped at Kobold Pocket and dropped off the dragon as a replacement god for the kobolds.
Steering clear of both the orcish swamp and the gnollish woods (where, um, the dungeon master had all sorts of adventures, traps, puzzles, and skirmishes planned), they swung around the coast and headed east to the Bell of Harvest. They caught sight of some pirates, preparing to attack the gnolls. There was some talk of what, if anything, the group should do, and they finally decided to warn the gnolls.
Arriving at the Bell of Harvest, Irving, Tyne, and the whores went into the center of town to try and ply their wares. The others escorted the two girls back home, only to discover that their father is one of the richest cattle-barons on the Bell. When they later tell Tyne this, she's much more interested in Leesa, and runs off to propose marriage. Leesa accepts, and her father plans an elaborate wedding to take place in a month's time.
The group discovers that Robyn has been writing books under a pseudonym about their adventures, and that the achievements of the others are minimized to a large degree. Irving cautions Robyn not to reveal the truth about Tralamina's identity, and Robyn agrees.
That secret is endangered when Tralamin(a) attempts to seduce Leesa's sister, Hank. Hank shares her sister's desire for the opposite sex and is horrified to discover that Tralamina is male. Later that night, she runs to the inn where Irving and the prostitutes are staying and blabs about it. The whores, who have had their suspicions, blackmail Irving in order to keep it a secret. Irving agrees to raise their salaries when they get back to Hodam.
The next day, Irving, Tralamin, Robyn, and Feer go to check on the gnolls and discover that the pirates and orcs cannot find them. When they are about to head back home to Hodam, they are met by an hysterical Leesa. Calming her down, they discover that a group of pirates, likely working for Tyne's father, have kidnapped Tyne.
The quartet mug some pirates and disguise themselves, stealing onto a pirate ship where Tyne is supposed to be held. The ship heads for Bloodpurse Isle with the group on board. They try to break into the brig and are interrupted by some suspicious pirates. A battle ensues, but the pirates quickly surrender. Investigating the brig, they discover it to be empty.
Heading on deck, they find the pirates quickly abandoning the ship. A dense fog overtakes the ship, and suddenly, all of them fall unconscious.
Irving discovered that the only way to remove Jarmangle's cursed mustache was to cut it off, but they could not locate Jarmangle.
Tralamin and Irving put in bids in the Hodam Mayoral election. Some goblins came looking for Ugblar's rings, and the group lied to them, claiming they didn't find the rings.
Melany talks to the group, sans Tralamin, about Tralamin's recent suspicious behavior, including soliciting assassins to kill Melany. Irving tries to pass it off as one of Tralamin's quirks, but assures Melany that they'll prevent anything bad from happening to her.
The group set out to escort Leesa and her sister, Hank, back to their father's homestead in the Bell of Harvest. They took a contingent of whores, a supply of booze along with them, and the dragon they had arrested along with them.
They came across the ruins of an Ettercap village, and two of the orcs that had slaughtered that village. They fought and slew the orcs and discovered battle plans that implied that Bergris's pirates were working with the orcs against the gnollish tribes.
They stopped at Kobold Pocket and dropped off the dragon as a replacement god for the kobolds.
Steering clear of both the orcish swamp and the gnollish woods (where, um, the dungeon master had all sorts of adventures, traps, puzzles, and skirmishes planned), they swung around the coast and headed east to the Bell of Harvest. They caught sight of some pirates, preparing to attack the gnolls. There was some talk of what, if anything, the group should do, and they finally decided to warn the gnolls.
Arriving at the Bell of Harvest, Irving, Tyne, and the whores went into the center of town to try and ply their wares. The others escorted the two girls back home, only to discover that their father is one of the richest cattle-barons on the Bell. When they later tell Tyne this, she's much more interested in Leesa, and runs off to propose marriage. Leesa accepts, and her father plans an elaborate wedding to take place in a month's time.
The group discovers that Robyn has been writing books under a pseudonym about their adventures, and that the achievements of the others are minimized to a large degree. Irving cautions Robyn not to reveal the truth about Tralamina's identity, and Robyn agrees.
That secret is endangered when Tralamin(a) attempts to seduce Leesa's sister, Hank. Hank shares her sister's desire for the opposite sex and is horrified to discover that Tralamina is male. Later that night, she runs to the inn where Irving and the prostitutes are staying and blabs about it. The whores, who have had their suspicions, blackmail Irving in order to keep it a secret. Irving agrees to raise their salaries when they get back to Hodam.
The next day, Irving, Tralamin, Robyn, and Feer go to check on the gnolls and discover that the pirates and orcs cannot find them. When they are about to head back home to Hodam, they are met by an hysterical Leesa. Calming her down, they discover that a group of pirates, likely working for Tyne's father, have kidnapped Tyne.
The quartet mug some pirates and disguise themselves, stealing onto a pirate ship where Tyne is supposed to be held. The ship heads for Bloodpurse Isle with the group on board. They try to break into the brig and are interrupted by some suspicious pirates. A battle ensues, but the pirates quickly surrender. Investigating the brig, they discover it to be empty.
Heading on deck, they find the pirates quickly abandoning the ship. A dense fog overtakes the ship, and suddenly, all of them fall unconscious.
3.27.2011
17. Dungeon of the Vampire Lord, Part Three
While his friends braved the perils of the dungeon beneath the merman prison, Jarmangle was tending to his goblin, Hanoonk. Jarmangle found himself unable to cure Hanoonk of his mummy rot. Leesa, the young woman they rescued from the clutches of the Cult of Cloth-- who had been deflowered by Jarmangle's sister Tyne-- urged Jarmangle to join his friends and bring Tyne and Leesa's still-captive sister safely back, promising to look after Hanoonk in his stead. Reluctantly, Jarmangle agreed.
He soon found himself reunited with the group, and together they soon found the vampire, Romlyn. From a hidden vantage point, they set up a magical crossbow, aimed for the vampire's heart, that they had found in one of the dungeon's many trap-filled rooms. They sent Tyne back upstairs to step on the pressure plate in said room. Unfortunately, the trap misfired, and the arrow struck Jarmangle.
The group went into the vampire's room. A long conversation ensued, during which time the vampire revealed that Jarmangle's cursed moustache was likely eating him from the inside out. The vampire also insulted Tralamin's sense of style. A battle was joined between the group, the vampire, and the vampire's faithful owlbear. The skirmish was interrupted by the arrival of a monstrous bulette, which Robyn managed to drive off with a bit of beastbane. The owlbear was pushed into a chasm, the vampire slain, and Leesa's sister rescued.
Beaten and exhausted, the group found their way back up to Tyne barred by stones the bulette had overturned. They found another passageway back up, and, as they made their way back to Tyne through other means, they stumbled upon a secret room filled with treasure and magical apparel. One hat in particular proved potentially useful, as it allowed its wearer to assume the appearance of another.
Tralamin put on the hat, assuming the guise of his own fictional twin sister, unconvincingly named Tralamina. They now planned to pretend that Tralamin had died inside the dungeon, hopefully thus ending the eladrin hunt for him.
At long last the group found Tyne and exited the dungeon.
Loose Ends
In the day that followed, they managed to all recover from their various cases of mummy rot. Having lifted the Rings of Fire Immunity and Acid Immunity from the body of the vampire, they now wondered if they should keep their promise to give them to Ugblar, the troll Goblin Boss. They decided against it and hatched a contingency plan should Ugblar come looking for them.
Returning to Hodam, they introduced Melany to Tralamina, who they said had been left Tralamin's share in the brewery, pubs, and bawdyhouses. Melany at first gave some resistance-- claiming that without a legal will that said otherwise, Tralamin's holdings should pass to her-- but upon the revelation that Tralamina was in fact Tralamin, Melany was more cooperative. She agreed to keep Tralamin's secret, and helped the group to organize a public funeral for Brewmaster Tralamin.
And into all this, there flew a drunken young dragon. Sheriff Feer put on the Ring of Fire Immunity and arrested the dragon, forcing it to repair the damage it had done. It was suggested that the dragon could be given to the denizens of Kobold Pocket, thus smoothing over any remaining ruffled feathers with Hodam's trade partner.
Tralamin(a) and Melany put the Goblin Beer recipe that Tralamin had obtained from Ugblar into production, and it seemed to be a success.
Irving holed himself up with the necromantic books they had lifted from the vampire's library, hoping to find a cure for Jarmangle's cursed moustache.
Robyn went into business with Melany to start a cabaret/entertainment establishment. Leesa, still pining after Tyne despite repeated post-coital jilting, expressed an interest in working at the cabaret so that she might remain in Hodam.
Leesa's sister, however, longed to return home to the Bell of Harvest, and the group agreed to escort her home.
He soon found himself reunited with the group, and together they soon found the vampire, Romlyn. From a hidden vantage point, they set up a magical crossbow, aimed for the vampire's heart, that they had found in one of the dungeon's many trap-filled rooms. They sent Tyne back upstairs to step on the pressure plate in said room. Unfortunately, the trap misfired, and the arrow struck Jarmangle.
The group went into the vampire's room. A long conversation ensued, during which time the vampire revealed that Jarmangle's cursed moustache was likely eating him from the inside out. The vampire also insulted Tralamin's sense of style. A battle was joined between the group, the vampire, and the vampire's faithful owlbear. The skirmish was interrupted by the arrival of a monstrous bulette, which Robyn managed to drive off with a bit of beastbane. The owlbear was pushed into a chasm, the vampire slain, and Leesa's sister rescued.
Beaten and exhausted, the group found their way back up to Tyne barred by stones the bulette had overturned. They found another passageway back up, and, as they made their way back to Tyne through other means, they stumbled upon a secret room filled with treasure and magical apparel. One hat in particular proved potentially useful, as it allowed its wearer to assume the appearance of another.
Tralamin put on the hat, assuming the guise of his own fictional twin sister, unconvincingly named Tralamina. They now planned to pretend that Tralamin had died inside the dungeon, hopefully thus ending the eladrin hunt for him.
At long last the group found Tyne and exited the dungeon.
Loose Ends
In the day that followed, they managed to all recover from their various cases of mummy rot. Having lifted the Rings of Fire Immunity and Acid Immunity from the body of the vampire, they now wondered if they should keep their promise to give them to Ugblar, the troll Goblin Boss. They decided against it and hatched a contingency plan should Ugblar come looking for them.
Returning to Hodam, they introduced Melany to Tralamina, who they said had been left Tralamin's share in the brewery, pubs, and bawdyhouses. Melany at first gave some resistance-- claiming that without a legal will that said otherwise, Tralamin's holdings should pass to her-- but upon the revelation that Tralamina was in fact Tralamin, Melany was more cooperative. She agreed to keep Tralamin's secret, and helped the group to organize a public funeral for Brewmaster Tralamin.
And into all this, there flew a drunken young dragon. Sheriff Feer put on the Ring of Fire Immunity and arrested the dragon, forcing it to repair the damage it had done. It was suggested that the dragon could be given to the denizens of Kobold Pocket, thus smoothing over any remaining ruffled feathers with Hodam's trade partner.
Tralamin(a) and Melany put the Goblin Beer recipe that Tralamin had obtained from Ugblar into production, and it seemed to be a success.
Irving holed himself up with the necromantic books they had lifted from the vampire's library, hoping to find a cure for Jarmangle's cursed moustache.
Robyn went into business with Melany to start a cabaret/entertainment establishment. Leesa, still pining after Tyne despite repeated post-coital jilting, expressed an interest in working at the cabaret so that she might remain in Hodam.
Leesa's sister, however, longed to return home to the Bell of Harvest, and the group agreed to escort her home.
3.13.2011
16. Dungeon of the Vampire Lord, Part Two
Having been severely injured in their latest attempt to probe the depths of the dungeon beneath the merman prison, the group had returned to the surface to lick their wounds. The goblin Hanoonk was alone in being unable to shake off his mummy rot, and Jarmangle felt responsible. And so, when the group went off to retrieve Tralamin from the troll "goblin boss" Ugblar, Jarmangle announced he was staying behind to watch over the goblin. Tyne went with the group, but only after deflowering the rescued virgin Leesa.
Ugblar was disappointed that they had not been successful in defeating the vampire and stealing her rings, but let Tralamin ago-- he still felt bad about taking such a, well, trollish and uncivilized approach.
And so, the five adventurers-- Tyne, Feer, Tralamin, Irving, and Robyn-- returned to the dungeon once more, hoping to retrieve both the rings and Leesa's sister, Oola. They often found themselves retracing their steps and second-guessing themselves. "We didn't go down here, did we?" they asked, only to get lost in a maze of caverns and find themselves in previously-tackled territory.
The Cult of Cloth and their mummies were on high-alert after their previous excursion, resulting in several skirmishes. As they ventured further into the dungeon's depths, they confronted new horrors and traps. Tyne nearly found herself impaled in a bed of spikes-- Irving, at the last moment, conjured up a spectral ram and pushed the tiefling to safety.
Our heroes discovered the secrets of the Cult of Cloth-- they were men who worshiped vampires and projected their consciousness into rag-man bodies-- and found the room where their bodies were kept. The room was filled with bodily waste and guarded by mummies. Irving, perhaps unwisely, summoned a fireball in the room, causing the high quantities of methane gas to ignite. The adventurers barely made it to safety, and the Cult of Cloth was extinguished.
However, that still left the vampire itself. The magical compass Bradbury indicated that the kidnapped girl was nearby, but they could not find a passageway that led to her. Hoping to find access to her from another floor, they followed some stairs leading to unexplored areas on the previous floors. There, they found the library of Romlyn-- at last, a name to the vampire. Getting past the sentient door with a little bit of the ol' fey step, they raided the library for necromantic texts.
Leaving the library, they found themselves in a room they had inadvertently returned to many times before-- emblematic, they supposed, of the adventure as a whole, which still lacks a conclusion.
Ugblar was disappointed that they had not been successful in defeating the vampire and stealing her rings, but let Tralamin ago-- he still felt bad about taking such a, well, trollish and uncivilized approach.
And so, the five adventurers-- Tyne, Feer, Tralamin, Irving, and Robyn-- returned to the dungeon once more, hoping to retrieve both the rings and Leesa's sister, Oola. They often found themselves retracing their steps and second-guessing themselves. "We didn't go down here, did we?" they asked, only to get lost in a maze of caverns and find themselves in previously-tackled territory.
The Cult of Cloth and their mummies were on high-alert after their previous excursion, resulting in several skirmishes. As they ventured further into the dungeon's depths, they confronted new horrors and traps. Tyne nearly found herself impaled in a bed of spikes-- Irving, at the last moment, conjured up a spectral ram and pushed the tiefling to safety.
Our heroes discovered the secrets of the Cult of Cloth-- they were men who worshiped vampires and projected their consciousness into rag-man bodies-- and found the room where their bodies were kept. The room was filled with bodily waste and guarded by mummies. Irving, perhaps unwisely, summoned a fireball in the room, causing the high quantities of methane gas to ignite. The adventurers barely made it to safety, and the Cult of Cloth was extinguished.
However, that still left the vampire itself. The magical compass Bradbury indicated that the kidnapped girl was nearby, but they could not find a passageway that led to her. Hoping to find access to her from another floor, they followed some stairs leading to unexplored areas on the previous floors. There, they found the library of Romlyn-- at last, a name to the vampire. Getting past the sentient door with a little bit of the ol' fey step, they raided the library for necromantic texts.
Leaving the library, they found themselves in a room they had inadvertently returned to many times before-- emblematic, they supposed, of the adventure as a whole, which still lacks a conclusion.
2.27.2011
15. Dungeon of the Vampire Lord, Part One
Our heroes-- Jarmangle, Feer, Tyne, Robyn, Hanoonk, and Irving-- ventured into the dungeon beneath the merman prison. Discovering an illusory wall in the sleeping chamber of the mummies, they began working their way through a confusing labyrinth of traps and obstacles.
Along the way, they fought some more mummies-- Hanoonk, Irving, and Robyn contracted the dreaded mummy rot despite their best efforts-- and found themselves face-to-face with the Cult of the Cloth. Said cult appeared to be working for the vampire who the troll Ugblar said lived within the dungeon. They had kidnapped at least three virgins hailing from the Bell of Harvest, apparently to feed the vampire.
Our heroes eked out a slight victory over the cultists, and rescued one of the virgins, Leesa. Another they discovered already dead, and hooked up to a strange blood-draining machine, with pipes bearing the blood deeper into the labyrinth. Leesa said that the cultists took her sister to see "the mistress"-- likely the vampire.
Bruised and battered, our heroes returned to the surface, promising Leesa that they would venture back and rescue her sister from the vampire's clutches.
They rested that night in the abandoned fort. Irving managed to shrug off the mummy rot, and Feer, with her knowledge of the healing arts, was able to cure Robyn of hers. Poor Hanoonk, however, remained stricken with the disease.
Along the way, they fought some more mummies-- Hanoonk, Irving, and Robyn contracted the dreaded mummy rot despite their best efforts-- and found themselves face-to-face with the Cult of the Cloth. Said cult appeared to be working for the vampire who the troll Ugblar said lived within the dungeon. They had kidnapped at least three virgins hailing from the Bell of Harvest, apparently to feed the vampire.
Our heroes eked out a slight victory over the cultists, and rescued one of the virgins, Leesa. Another they discovered already dead, and hooked up to a strange blood-draining machine, with pipes bearing the blood deeper into the labyrinth. Leesa said that the cultists took her sister to see "the mistress"-- likely the vampire.
Bruised and battered, our heroes returned to the surface, promising Leesa that they would venture back and rescue her sister from the vampire's clutches.
They rested that night in the abandoned fort. Irving managed to shrug off the mummy rot, and Feer, with her knowledge of the healing arts, was able to cure Robyn of hers. Poor Hanoonk, however, remained stricken with the disease.
2.14.2011
14. The Goblin Boss
Our heroes awoke to discover a small party of goblins outside their fort. Said goblins had been instructed to bring Jarmangle & company to Ugblar, the Boss of All Goblins, who was none too happy to discover Jarmangle had made a claim to that title. The group reluctantly agrees to go with the goblins, except for Robyn, who was still recovering from her bout of mummy rot.
En route, the group is ambushed by hippogriff-riding eladrin, intent on taking Tralamin back east to face his death sentence. The group barely manages to defeat the eladrin. Feer attempts, somewhat successfully, to tame one of the hippogriffs. The question of what to do with their unconscious eladrin prisoners is a more difficult matter.
Irving suggests they find some ethical way to fake Tralamin's death, so that the brewmaster might continue his life and business under a new identity. Jarmangle and Tralamin suggest they "accidentally" smash one of the eladrin's faces in, then dress it in Tralamin's clothes. Irving says that this isn't exactly what he had in mind when he said "ethical".
In the end, they decide to take the prisoners with them, pressing on to the goblin encampment. There, they are searched by goblins to ensure they carry no fire or acid weaponry. Likewise, they make Irving promise not to use any sort of fire magic while in the encampment.
The reason for these precautions becomes clear when they meet Ugblar. The Goblin Boss is no goblin himself, but a very canny and surprisingly thoughtful troll. Taking over the goblin tribe in lean times (after all, there's not much civilization west of the Devil's Vulva for the goblins to rob), he's regulated their lives to ensure survival.
Jarmangle explains to Ugblar that he didn't say he was the boss of Ugblar's goblins, but rather an obscure tribe to the "south-west". Ugblar accepts this, and talk turns to the possibility of trade between Hodam and the goblins. Ugblar doesn't want much that Hodam has to offer-- the goblins have their own, much stronger, alcohol that renders Hodam Swill obsolete-- but is amenable to having the Hodamites expand out west; civilization means there'll be more for the goblins to leech off of.
Irving is a little trepeditious about this, but Ugblar assures him the goblins would only rob "within reason". Tralamin is interested in acquiring the secret of the goblin's brew for Hodam, and Ugblar agrees to give it up. However, they adventurers will have to harvest a particular kind of wheat that grows wild just to the north. The heroes agree on this course of action, reluctantly leaving their prisoners with Ugblar.
En route to the wheat field, they pass through a gnollish burial ground. The moustache Jarmangle stole from the fort's commandant starts to glow and itch; suddenly, the corpses rise from the dead, all of them targeting Jarmangle. This proves dangerous, as Jarmangle comes close to dying more than once. His sister manages to revive him each time. Surprisingly, Jarmangle proclaims his cursed moustache to be "cool". "I don't know if it's quite so cool," admonishes Irving.
They reach the wheat field, which is guarded by two minotaur. Irving and Tralamin distract them, enabling Jarmangle to sneak in and grab some of the wheat. They're very nearly caught but manage to escape.
Once back at the goblin encampment, Tralamin goes into Ugblar's tent alone to learn the secrets of the brew. There, he tricks Tralamin-- "Hey, poke yourself with this shiny needle" "Okay"-- and the eladrin falls into a deep uncharacteristic slumber. He intends to use him as a bargaining chip, to get the adventurers to return to the dungeon beneath the merman prison, find the vampire lord who lives there, defeat her, and bring the troll her magic rings. It's not so much a betrayal, Ugblar insists-- he just knows they won't do it otherwise, as he is a troll.
"Actually, it's kinda what we do," says Jarmangle.
"Yeah," says Irving, "you could have just asked. We don't care if you're a troll."
Ugblar apologizes, and promises to take good care of Tralamin, who will be unconscious for at least a few days, while the others venture into the dungeon.
En route, the group is ambushed by hippogriff-riding eladrin, intent on taking Tralamin back east to face his death sentence. The group barely manages to defeat the eladrin. Feer attempts, somewhat successfully, to tame one of the hippogriffs. The question of what to do with their unconscious eladrin prisoners is a more difficult matter.
Irving suggests they find some ethical way to fake Tralamin's death, so that the brewmaster might continue his life and business under a new identity. Jarmangle and Tralamin suggest they "accidentally" smash one of the eladrin's faces in, then dress it in Tralamin's clothes. Irving says that this isn't exactly what he had in mind when he said "ethical".
In the end, they decide to take the prisoners with them, pressing on to the goblin encampment. There, they are searched by goblins to ensure they carry no fire or acid weaponry. Likewise, they make Irving promise not to use any sort of fire magic while in the encampment.
The reason for these precautions becomes clear when they meet Ugblar. The Goblin Boss is no goblin himself, but a very canny and surprisingly thoughtful troll. Taking over the goblin tribe in lean times (after all, there's not much civilization west of the Devil's Vulva for the goblins to rob), he's regulated their lives to ensure survival.
Jarmangle explains to Ugblar that he didn't say he was the boss of Ugblar's goblins, but rather an obscure tribe to the "south-west". Ugblar accepts this, and talk turns to the possibility of trade between Hodam and the goblins. Ugblar doesn't want much that Hodam has to offer-- the goblins have their own, much stronger, alcohol that renders Hodam Swill obsolete-- but is amenable to having the Hodamites expand out west; civilization means there'll be more for the goblins to leech off of.
Irving is a little trepeditious about this, but Ugblar assures him the goblins would only rob "within reason". Tralamin is interested in acquiring the secret of the goblin's brew for Hodam, and Ugblar agrees to give it up. However, they adventurers will have to harvest a particular kind of wheat that grows wild just to the north. The heroes agree on this course of action, reluctantly leaving their prisoners with Ugblar.
En route to the wheat field, they pass through a gnollish burial ground. The moustache Jarmangle stole from the fort's commandant starts to glow and itch; suddenly, the corpses rise from the dead, all of them targeting Jarmangle. This proves dangerous, as Jarmangle comes close to dying more than once. His sister manages to revive him each time. Surprisingly, Jarmangle proclaims his cursed moustache to be "cool". "I don't know if it's quite so cool," admonishes Irving.
They reach the wheat field, which is guarded by two minotaur. Irving and Tralamin distract them, enabling Jarmangle to sneak in and grab some of the wheat. They're very nearly caught but manage to escape.
Once back at the goblin encampment, Tralamin goes into Ugblar's tent alone to learn the secrets of the brew. There, he tricks Tralamin-- "Hey, poke yourself with this shiny needle" "Okay"-- and the eladrin falls into a deep uncharacteristic slumber. He intends to use him as a bargaining chip, to get the adventurers to return to the dungeon beneath the merman prison, find the vampire lord who lives there, defeat her, and bring the troll her magic rings. It's not so much a betrayal, Ugblar insists-- he just knows they won't do it otherwise, as he is a troll.
"Actually, it's kinda what we do," says Jarmangle.
"Yeah," says Irving, "you could have just asked. We don't care if you're a troll."
Ugblar apologizes, and promises to take good care of Tralamin, who will be unconscious for at least a few days, while the others venture into the dungeon.
2.02.2011
13. Sphere of Destiny
Our group returns to Hodam, but just briefly; Sherrif Feer finds a group of eladrin waiting for her, seeking her assistance in arresting Tralamin. Melany supplies them with horses, and the group, including Jarmangle's sister Tyne, sneaks out of town and heads west.
They find the body of their friend Uncle and, after Tralamin has stolen the lint from his pockets, he is cremated.
They arrive at the Merman Prison and stash the dormant sphere of annihilation in Seldak's tower, locking the door.
They head down into the dungeon beneath the prison. This ancient dungeon contains many traps-- some still active, some long-ago-disabled-- and the bodies of many would-be adventurers. They loot freely from the bodies, as well as from secret treasure rooms. Our heroes encounter a group of goblins-- one of whom, Hanoonk, is adopted by Jarmangle as a sort of pet-- and a mummy, which Tralamin insists is just trying to be friends. Tralamin even attacks Robyn when the latter tries to defend herself from the mummy.
Tralamin and Robyn both contract mummy rot, but later manage to overcome it during an extended rest. The group fends off a bullette, discovers an underwater lake, and steals two jeweled eyes from an idol to a dark god.
Barely alive, and feeling they have explored the dungeon thoroughly, they head back up to the surface and make camp at the fort they had freed from the undead curse.
They find the body of their friend Uncle and, after Tralamin has stolen the lint from his pockets, he is cremated.
They arrive at the Merman Prison and stash the dormant sphere of annihilation in Seldak's tower, locking the door.
They head down into the dungeon beneath the prison. This ancient dungeon contains many traps-- some still active, some long-ago-disabled-- and the bodies of many would-be adventurers. They loot freely from the bodies, as well as from secret treasure rooms. Our heroes encounter a group of goblins-- one of whom, Hanoonk, is adopted by Jarmangle as a sort of pet-- and a mummy, which Tralamin insists is just trying to be friends. Tralamin even attacks Robyn when the latter tries to defend herself from the mummy.
Tralamin and Robyn both contract mummy rot, but later manage to overcome it during an extended rest. The group fends off a bullette, discovers an underwater lake, and steals two jeweled eyes from an idol to a dark god.
Barely alive, and feeling they have explored the dungeon thoroughly, they head back up to the surface and make camp at the fort they had freed from the undead curse.
12. The Dark Spire
Tyne explains that she first ventured into the Dark Spire alone after Tallybrooke fled Bloodpurse Isle. There, she met a group of drow, and barely escaped with her life. Tralamin is not eager to meet his dark elf brethren and tries to persuade his friends not to venture within.
Inside, they find many strange and wondrous things, such as a door that gets farther away the closer you come to it and a fountain that transforms those who drink its waters into a skunk. Irving transforms himself into a skunk and seems quite happy about it.
And, of course, they find drow-- drow who recognize Tralamin, and explain to his horrified friends that Tralamin betrayed the eladrin to the drow and the drow to the eladrin, and had become the sworn enemy of both. Perhaps against their better judgment, the group fights off the vicious drow to perserve Tralamin's life.
Jarmangle transforms himself into a skunk, eager to see what happens when his tiefling demonic transformation ability is triggered in skunk form; he gives all his gear into his sister's keeping. Faced with a boobytrapped locked door in a room with a strange portal, it is Tyne who must attempt to pick the lock-- and Tyne who fails. She is blasted into the portal, and the Linked Ring of Telepathy she shares with her brother goes dark. They fear she is dead.
They find Tallybrooke, who has been driven insane by the tower's weird magicks. He had come to seek out a djinn at the top of the spire, who might grant him a wish.
Making their way up the tower and solving its fiendish puzzles, our heroes find the djinn. They carefully parse their words so that they can bring Tyne back to them safely. They forget, however, to specify that she should have her clothes and possessions with her, including Jarmangle's equipment. Everything-- his demonic sword, his money, his tools, his clothing-- is gone.
Everything save the strange orb he found within the paperweight they stole from Firepalm. It is discovered that the orb is a dormant sphere of annihilation. Wishing to stash it somewhere where it will not do any harm, our heroes resolve to return to the Merman Prison and put it there. Perhaps, also, they will explore the dungeon beneath it, and Jarmangle might start to replace some of his lost possessions.
Inside, they find many strange and wondrous things, such as a door that gets farther away the closer you come to it and a fountain that transforms those who drink its waters into a skunk. Irving transforms himself into a skunk and seems quite happy about it.
And, of course, they find drow-- drow who recognize Tralamin, and explain to his horrified friends that Tralamin betrayed the eladrin to the drow and the drow to the eladrin, and had become the sworn enemy of both. Perhaps against their better judgment, the group fights off the vicious drow to perserve Tralamin's life.
Jarmangle transforms himself into a skunk, eager to see what happens when his tiefling demonic transformation ability is triggered in skunk form; he gives all his gear into his sister's keeping. Faced with a boobytrapped locked door in a room with a strange portal, it is Tyne who must attempt to pick the lock-- and Tyne who fails. She is blasted into the portal, and the Linked Ring of Telepathy she shares with her brother goes dark. They fear she is dead.
They find Tallybrooke, who has been driven insane by the tower's weird magicks. He had come to seek out a djinn at the top of the spire, who might grant him a wish.
Making their way up the tower and solving its fiendish puzzles, our heroes find the djinn. They carefully parse their words so that they can bring Tyne back to them safely. They forget, however, to specify that she should have her clothes and possessions with her, including Jarmangle's equipment. Everything-- his demonic sword, his money, his tools, his clothing-- is gone.
Everything save the strange orb he found within the paperweight they stole from Firepalm. It is discovered that the orb is a dormant sphere of annihilation. Wishing to stash it somewhere where it will not do any harm, our heroes resolve to return to the Merman Prison and put it there. Perhaps, also, they will explore the dungeon beneath it, and Jarmangle might start to replace some of his lost possessions.
11.07.2010
7. Jarmangle's Secret
When our adventurers return to Hodam-- the grisly spoils of their decisive battle with the young dragon well-hidden from kobold eyes-- they find that much has transpired in their absence. Melany, acting in Tralamin's behalf, has struck a very good trade agreement with the denizens of Kobold Pocket, exchanging shipments of Hodam's Famous Ale for their sweet darkwheat. A note was left for Jarmangle by the comely tiefling mercenary Tyne, asking that he and his friends meet her on Bloodpurse Isle. And a young human woman, Evelyn, has come from the East, claiming to be Jarmangle's adopted sister.
The latter proves to be true; she's come, along with her dwarfish bodyguard Uncle, to take Jarmangle back home. She asks him to stop this nonsense and tells him that their parents are worried. Jarmangle is not swayed, but-- happy to see his sister-- asks her to come with him and his friends to the dangerous, pirate-infested Bloodpurse Isle. Evelyn is horrified and doesn't believe that her sweet brother Jarmangle would do such a thing. To prove that it's him, Jarmangle reveals a brand on his shoulder-- a brand that he had when Evelyn's family found him as a baby and that's distorted over the years. He again asks her to come with them, and she refuses, deciding instead to leave for the East. She asks her bodyguard to accompany Jarmangle, to keep him safe, and to try and persuade him to give up this life of danger and adventure.
Before Evelyn leaves, Tralamin takes a fancy to the girl's parasol and tries to trade her for it, even offering the bloodied elk remains that he wears as pants. Evelyn, for some strange reason, declines.
Return to Firepalm
Irving suggests that the fastest way to get to Bloodpurse Isle would be to take the river down to the ocean, and he recalls that there was a port on the outskirts of Firepalm. They decide to return to Firepalm, so that they might either charter or, more likely given the homicidal tendencies of the town's residents, steal a vessel. Because of the danger posed by the fire dwarfs, they decide to travel light, leaving both their whores and ales at home. Perhaps there's trade to be done on Bloodpurse Isle, but it'll have to wait for a return trip.
They arrive in Firepalm near dusk and find it strangely devoid of insane, fire-bearded dwarfs. The one-street town almost seems deserted. The group decides to check into city hall-- after all, the mayor still owes them money.
The mayor is there, but just barely alive; he looks sickly, and seems not-quite-aware of their presence. Tralamin remembers that when they killed the dragon, the fiery creatures and the firepalm ore that resided in its lair grew cold and dead. Perhaps extinguishing its life-force also extinguished all the magic of the ore; now the fire dwarfs, deprived of it, are suffering withdrawal. Taking pity on the poor creature-- but not before looting his office of course, finding a sparkling gem-- they adjust his body so that he won't choke to death on his own vomit.
Jarmangle, feeling vindictive, suggests that they cut his beard off-- Tralamin can already see ways that he can use it as an article of clothing. The dwarf bodyguard Uncle is appalled and lectures them on the importance of a beard to his kind. They refrain from taking the beard, Jarmangle consoles himself with taking the mayor's mountain-shaped paperweight, and the group heads to the port.
The Eve of Destruction
There's one vessel in the port, a ship given the somewhat off-putting name of The Eve of Destruction. Warily, our heroes try to detect the presence of ghosts or demons before they even set foot on it. They detect nothing.
Once aboard the ship, however, Robyn-- whose vampiric blood aids in the detection of the undead-- has a bad feeling about what awaits below. Within the ship, they find the corpse of a headless dwarf. Searching his body, they find a number of items meant to protect him from the undead; the items obviously did not work as planned.
They also find a scrap of paper, once part of a map, with an "X" marked just west of the Devil's Vulva. They've not any time to consider it now, however, as they hear the shuffling murmurs of the undead in the next room. Determined to catch the foul things by surprise, our heroes rush into the ship's sleeping chambers.
A horde of zombies, detached crawling body-parts, and undead beasts await on the other side, controlled by a terrible wight. The last time they fought a wight, Irving nearly met his demise; since that battle deep beneath Hodam, however, they've fought fearsome orcs, sly kobolds, the cult of cloth, living statues, and, yes, that terrible and tragic dragon. With the element of surprise in their favour, and the benefits of battle-won experience-- not to mention a few handy, undead-targeting trinkets-- they easily trounce the undead. Only Uncle, the newest of their number, takes any serious injuries; coming from the East, he's not as familiar with the beasts and horrors that populate the West. But his mastery of the martial arts ensures that no blow struck against him remains unreturned, and he knows his wounds will heal.
They dispose of the undead and then, at Uncle's behest, they give a short burial at sea for the headless dwarf.
And then, with morning approaching, they sail down the river.
Part II
The Nameless Pub
Docking at Bloodpurse Isle after two days of sailing, the six adventurers-- not knowing where Tyne might be waiting for them-- stop in at The Nameless Pub not far from the docks. It's a rowdy, bawdy place, stuffed to the gills with cutthroats, mercenaries, and pirates. Listening to the boisterous bragging and secretive whispers, they're able to glom onto a few salient facts: most famous of all the pirates on the Isle, and to many its defacto ruler, is Captain Bergris. For decades the scourge of the Empires of the East, robbing their ships and ports with abandon, he'll ride the currents back to Bloodpurse Isle. He and his men are safe here as a result of a pact they've made with the mermen who live in the bay, and this fact, along with the many stories of his exploits, is responsible for the allegiance many feel towards him.
Some, however, swear allegiance to the new pirate lord Tallybrooke. He's already made a name for himself by throwing copious amounts of money around and providing plenty of work for the various scurvy dogs who populate the Isle.
The Drinking Contest
One particularly fearsome looking pirate challenges all comers to a drinking contest. Feer, Irving, and Tralamin abstain, but the promise of winning the pot entices Uncle, Robyn, and Jarmangle to throw in. Round-after-round, shot-after-shot, they try to outdrink each other. Robyn quickly falls to the floor, and the pirate who challenged them follows soon after. One of the others points out that Jarmangle and Uncle, being the only two left, could split the pot between them, but they're determined to stay in it until one of them falters.
That one, surprisingly, is Uncle, who proceeds to cover Jarmangle in copious amounts of vomit. Irving quickly uses his magic to clean the drunken tiefling, just in time for the latter to come face-to-face with Tyne.
The Job
Tyne has a job for them. In a cave on the island, guarded by pirates, is a stone given to the mermen that represents the sanctity of their pact with Captain Bergris. Her employer, whom she won't name, wants the stone. If they retrieve it, each of them will get 200 gold-- except for Jarmangle. Jarmangle, she says with a wink, will get whatever he desires of Tyne.
This sounds like a good deal for the lustful tiefling, but the others are suspicious. Irving, remembering how the magical ecosystem that grew around the dragon died along with it, is concerned that removing the stone might harm the mermen in some way. Feer, however, is pretty sure that the mermen are a naturally-occurring beast, and that the pact stone is likely just that.
That raises the question of why steal the stone? Tyne is evasive, but offers that her employer wants to renegotiate the terms of the pact, to ensure that Captain Bergris doesn't have a monopoly on the power of Bloodpurse Isle. This in turn raises another question: why doesn't Tyne just do it herself?
This she's more willing to answer. Jarmangle, with the proper disguise, could pass for Captain Bergris. Dressed as pirates, the group could get past the guards and into the cave. In case there are any mermen present, because living underwater they have exceptionally poor eyesight, they will in turn think Bergris is taking the stone and ending the treaty. Then, her employer can return with the stone to renegotiate the treaty.
The group agrees, but is wary; Tyne has put them in a tight spot before, and they're in no hurry to be tricked or trapped. They take the disguises she's given them and decide to plan their next move very carefully.
Recon
Thanks to an elixir provided by Tyne, Jarmangle is now slightly less drunk and Robyn is conscious if hungover. The group leaves Tyne to explore the town, stopping at a confectionery to buy cotton candy and ask the locals for information. They more-or-less confirm their suspicion that the obvious suspect to be Tyne's mysterious employer is Tallybrooke, as renegotiating the mermen treaty would tip the balance of power in his favour.
They stop in at a blacksmith, to see what can be done with the scales they looted from the dragon's corpse. The blacksmith freely admits that such material is beyond his kin, but says that his mentor, Orgath Blackhammer, the master blacksmith who lives on the mainland in the forest just west of the Bell of Harvest, might be able to work with it, for a price. He offers to place the multi-faceted gem Jarmangle took from the mayor's office into his sword-- that, at least, is within his power-- but Jarmangle doesn't have enough gold. The blacksmith spies Jarmangle's paperweight, also from the mayor's office, and offers to place the gem in exchange for it; Jarmangle's suspicions are aroused by the blacksmith's sudden interest in a supposedly worthless trinket and declines.
Jarmangle and Feer decide to scope out the cave before they all go marching in, and the others agree to wait.
The Cave
Jarmangle, disguised as Bergris, easily fools the half-drunk pirates standing watch. They're surprised that he's home, as they thought he had just left for the East, but Jarmangle insults their mothers in a suitably pirate-like fashion and they kindly shut their mouths. Jarmangle and Feer head into the cave and discover that there's not much to it; no tunnels or twists, no chambers, no death traps. There is, at the far end, a pool that seems to have no bottom, perhaps feeding into the ocean and the mermen city itself. Within the pool, set inside a magic bubble, is the pact stone, and guarding the stone is what Feer correctly determines to be a were-shark.
They exit the cave, find the others, and report their findings. If they can find some way to distract the were-shark, they reason, they'll be able to grab the stone. But what if the removal of the stone results in some sort of trap being tripped? Jarmangle and Feer had not detected any mechanisms, but they're also ill-versed in the ways of arcane tortures. Robyn offers that they might swap the pact stone with her Charm of Nebulous Shape and Size, and Jarmangle suggests using the bloody dragon meat to distract the were-shark.
They return to the cave-- Tralamin still wears his owlbear cloak over his pirate disguise, and "Bergris" introduces him to the guard pirates as his trusted ally, Lt. Owlbearicus-- and set their plan into action. They tie the bloodied dragon meat to a rock so that it will sink. As soon as it hits the water, the magical blood spreads, making the water murky and hard to see through. But they do see the were-shark descending after the meat before it becomes impossible to see.
Irving uses his magically-conjured hand to swap the charm for the pact stone. As the water starts to clear, they see that the bloodied meat also attracted the attention of some nearby mermen. Fooled, for the moment, by the charm, they do not realize the pact stone is missing, but they are confused as to why "Bergris" is in the cave, as they only meet to confirm the pact on the solstice, which is still three weeks away. Jarmangle apologizes and says he simply got the dates mixed up while at sea.
They leave the cave without incident, and then they find Tyne.
Tallybrooke
She confirms that, yes, her employer is Tallybrooke, and takes them to Tallybrooke's impressive manor house so that they might hand over the stone and collect their gold. The group, realizing that Tallybrooke is unlikely to have seen the pact stone, and wishing to be cautious, gives him the glittering jewel they found in the office of the mayor of Firepalm, passing it off as the pact stone. Tallybrooke takes the bait, and points the group to a table on which sits a heap of gold and announces that he is taking his leave.
They are, naturally, suspicious, but they determine that there's nothing magical or illusory about the gold. And so, they all take their money. All, that is, but Jarmangle, who steals away with Tyne for their proposed tryst.
The Secret
But as Tyne starts to undress, Jarmangle discovers that she has a brand on her shoulder-- very close to the distorted brand on his shoulder, which he used to prove his identity to Evelyn. When he asks about it, Tyne explains how she got it.
She is the daughter of Captain Bergris; when her father, her pregnant mother, and herself were captured by one of the empires of the East, they were all branded as pirates. Bergris escaped, but left Tyne and her mother in the clutches of the Empire. Her mother died in childbirth, and the baby, her brother, was branded a few days after his birth. Tyne doubts her brother survived.
The only thing she hates worse than the empire, she says, is the only other person alive with the brand-- her father, Captain Bergris.
Jarmangle reveals that he, too, has the brand-- and both of them realize the reason why he bore a resemblance to Bergris. Jarmangle is his son, and Tyne's lost brother. This, of course, puts the kibosh on their plans, and Tyne hurriedly gets dressed.
Wizard's Cipher
They join the others; Uncle tries to pump Jarmangle for details and Tralamin offers, given the short time they were away, that it happens to everyone. Jarmangle reveals that Tyne is his sister, and supposes he'll have to go back to hitting on the bard. Robyn, the bard in question, rolls her eyes.
Suddenly, the night sky is filled with strange signs. Irving intuits that it is a Wizard's Cipher. It's a cipher that disappears after a few minutes; even if you write it down, even if you memorize it, the cipher disappears from both page and memory. The translation would remain, meaning that it has to be cracked within that small window.
Eagerly, the entire group throws themselves into cracking it. Just as the words start to fade, they do; it's a message sent by Tallybrooke to an eastern empire, suggesting that the mermen pact is broken and confirming that he will be made governor of Bloodpurse Isle once the empire comes to destroy the returning Captain Bergris and his pirates. Tyne is shocked; had she known Tallybrooke worked for the empire she despised, she would never have sent for Jarmangle and his friends, would never have worked for him.
Returning the Stone
The group heads back to the cave, and finds within a group of angry mermen, readied for war with the pirates. Their trick has been discovered. Jarmangle, still doing a passable imitation of Bergris, apologizes and explains that a fiend named Tallybrooke was attempting to steal the stone, and that they took it only to prevent its theft. The logic might be screwy, but the delivery is convincing, and the "owlbear" they perceive standing next to Bergris is suitably frightening; the mermen agree to accept the stone and restore the pact, so long as the thief adheres to the mermen code and gives up one of their fingers. It's only now that they take note of one of the mermen, who has only two fingers and a thumb left on one of his hands.
Irving offers that it was his magically-conjured hand that stole the stone, and conjures another so that they might claim its finger.
Denouement
The pact restored, and all fingers intact, our heroes merely wait and watch as Bergris returns to the Isle, the empire fast on his heels. Said empire is quickly rebuffed when the mermen join the pirates. The empire flees, and so does Tallybrooke; in the days that follow, some report seeing him near the Dark Spire, an unholy tower looming on the mainland's peninsula.
Jarmangle and his friends (minus Tyne, who has disappeared) are brought before the real Bergris, who admires Jarmangle's audacity in impersonating him. Jarmangle reveals that Bergris is his father, and the conversation that follows is fairly awkward and not particularly warm.
Bergris does offer Jarmangle a place among his pirates, but Jarmangle has already found his place.
The latter proves to be true; she's come, along with her dwarfish bodyguard Uncle, to take Jarmangle back home. She asks him to stop this nonsense and tells him that their parents are worried. Jarmangle is not swayed, but-- happy to see his sister-- asks her to come with him and his friends to the dangerous, pirate-infested Bloodpurse Isle. Evelyn is horrified and doesn't believe that her sweet brother Jarmangle would do such a thing. To prove that it's him, Jarmangle reveals a brand on his shoulder-- a brand that he had when Evelyn's family found him as a baby and that's distorted over the years. He again asks her to come with them, and she refuses, deciding instead to leave for the East. She asks her bodyguard to accompany Jarmangle, to keep him safe, and to try and persuade him to give up this life of danger and adventure.
Before Evelyn leaves, Tralamin takes a fancy to the girl's parasol and tries to trade her for it, even offering the bloodied elk remains that he wears as pants. Evelyn, for some strange reason, declines.
Return to Firepalm
Irving suggests that the fastest way to get to Bloodpurse Isle would be to take the river down to the ocean, and he recalls that there was a port on the outskirts of Firepalm. They decide to return to Firepalm, so that they might either charter or, more likely given the homicidal tendencies of the town's residents, steal a vessel. Because of the danger posed by the fire dwarfs, they decide to travel light, leaving both their whores and ales at home. Perhaps there's trade to be done on Bloodpurse Isle, but it'll have to wait for a return trip.
They arrive in Firepalm near dusk and find it strangely devoid of insane, fire-bearded dwarfs. The one-street town almost seems deserted. The group decides to check into city hall-- after all, the mayor still owes them money.
The mayor is there, but just barely alive; he looks sickly, and seems not-quite-aware of their presence. Tralamin remembers that when they killed the dragon, the fiery creatures and the firepalm ore that resided in its lair grew cold and dead. Perhaps extinguishing its life-force also extinguished all the magic of the ore; now the fire dwarfs, deprived of it, are suffering withdrawal. Taking pity on the poor creature-- but not before looting his office of course, finding a sparkling gem-- they adjust his body so that he won't choke to death on his own vomit.
Jarmangle, feeling vindictive, suggests that they cut his beard off-- Tralamin can already see ways that he can use it as an article of clothing. The dwarf bodyguard Uncle is appalled and lectures them on the importance of a beard to his kind. They refrain from taking the beard, Jarmangle consoles himself with taking the mayor's mountain-shaped paperweight, and the group heads to the port.
The Eve of Destruction
There's one vessel in the port, a ship given the somewhat off-putting name of The Eve of Destruction. Warily, our heroes try to detect the presence of ghosts or demons before they even set foot on it. They detect nothing.
Once aboard the ship, however, Robyn-- whose vampiric blood aids in the detection of the undead-- has a bad feeling about what awaits below. Within the ship, they find the corpse of a headless dwarf. Searching his body, they find a number of items meant to protect him from the undead; the items obviously did not work as planned.
They also find a scrap of paper, once part of a map, with an "X" marked just west of the Devil's Vulva. They've not any time to consider it now, however, as they hear the shuffling murmurs of the undead in the next room. Determined to catch the foul things by surprise, our heroes rush into the ship's sleeping chambers.
A horde of zombies, detached crawling body-parts, and undead beasts await on the other side, controlled by a terrible wight. The last time they fought a wight, Irving nearly met his demise; since that battle deep beneath Hodam, however, they've fought fearsome orcs, sly kobolds, the cult of cloth, living statues, and, yes, that terrible and tragic dragon. With the element of surprise in their favour, and the benefits of battle-won experience-- not to mention a few handy, undead-targeting trinkets-- they easily trounce the undead. Only Uncle, the newest of their number, takes any serious injuries; coming from the East, he's not as familiar with the beasts and horrors that populate the West. But his mastery of the martial arts ensures that no blow struck against him remains unreturned, and he knows his wounds will heal.
They dispose of the undead and then, at Uncle's behest, they give a short burial at sea for the headless dwarf.
And then, with morning approaching, they sail down the river.
Part II
The Nameless Pub
Docking at Bloodpurse Isle after two days of sailing, the six adventurers-- not knowing where Tyne might be waiting for them-- stop in at The Nameless Pub not far from the docks. It's a rowdy, bawdy place, stuffed to the gills with cutthroats, mercenaries, and pirates. Listening to the boisterous bragging and secretive whispers, they're able to glom onto a few salient facts: most famous of all the pirates on the Isle, and to many its defacto ruler, is Captain Bergris. For decades the scourge of the Empires of the East, robbing their ships and ports with abandon, he'll ride the currents back to Bloodpurse Isle. He and his men are safe here as a result of a pact they've made with the mermen who live in the bay, and this fact, along with the many stories of his exploits, is responsible for the allegiance many feel towards him.
Some, however, swear allegiance to the new pirate lord Tallybrooke. He's already made a name for himself by throwing copious amounts of money around and providing plenty of work for the various scurvy dogs who populate the Isle.
The Drinking Contest
One particularly fearsome looking pirate challenges all comers to a drinking contest. Feer, Irving, and Tralamin abstain, but the promise of winning the pot entices Uncle, Robyn, and Jarmangle to throw in. Round-after-round, shot-after-shot, they try to outdrink each other. Robyn quickly falls to the floor, and the pirate who challenged them follows soon after. One of the others points out that Jarmangle and Uncle, being the only two left, could split the pot between them, but they're determined to stay in it until one of them falters.
That one, surprisingly, is Uncle, who proceeds to cover Jarmangle in copious amounts of vomit. Irving quickly uses his magic to clean the drunken tiefling, just in time for the latter to come face-to-face with Tyne.
The Job
Tyne has a job for them. In a cave on the island, guarded by pirates, is a stone given to the mermen that represents the sanctity of their pact with Captain Bergris. Her employer, whom she won't name, wants the stone. If they retrieve it, each of them will get 200 gold-- except for Jarmangle. Jarmangle, she says with a wink, will get whatever he desires of Tyne.
This sounds like a good deal for the lustful tiefling, but the others are suspicious. Irving, remembering how the magical ecosystem that grew around the dragon died along with it, is concerned that removing the stone might harm the mermen in some way. Feer, however, is pretty sure that the mermen are a naturally-occurring beast, and that the pact stone is likely just that.
That raises the question of why steal the stone? Tyne is evasive, but offers that her employer wants to renegotiate the terms of the pact, to ensure that Captain Bergris doesn't have a monopoly on the power of Bloodpurse Isle. This in turn raises another question: why doesn't Tyne just do it herself?
This she's more willing to answer. Jarmangle, with the proper disguise, could pass for Captain Bergris. Dressed as pirates, the group could get past the guards and into the cave. In case there are any mermen present, because living underwater they have exceptionally poor eyesight, they will in turn think Bergris is taking the stone and ending the treaty. Then, her employer can return with the stone to renegotiate the treaty.
The group agrees, but is wary; Tyne has put them in a tight spot before, and they're in no hurry to be tricked or trapped. They take the disguises she's given them and decide to plan their next move very carefully.
Recon
Thanks to an elixir provided by Tyne, Jarmangle is now slightly less drunk and Robyn is conscious if hungover. The group leaves Tyne to explore the town, stopping at a confectionery to buy cotton candy and ask the locals for information. They more-or-less confirm their suspicion that the obvious suspect to be Tyne's mysterious employer is Tallybrooke, as renegotiating the mermen treaty would tip the balance of power in his favour.
They stop in at a blacksmith, to see what can be done with the scales they looted from the dragon's corpse. The blacksmith freely admits that such material is beyond his kin, but says that his mentor, Orgath Blackhammer, the master blacksmith who lives on the mainland in the forest just west of the Bell of Harvest, might be able to work with it, for a price. He offers to place the multi-faceted gem Jarmangle took from the mayor's office into his sword-- that, at least, is within his power-- but Jarmangle doesn't have enough gold. The blacksmith spies Jarmangle's paperweight, also from the mayor's office, and offers to place the gem in exchange for it; Jarmangle's suspicions are aroused by the blacksmith's sudden interest in a supposedly worthless trinket and declines.
Jarmangle and Feer decide to scope out the cave before they all go marching in, and the others agree to wait.
The Cave
Jarmangle, disguised as Bergris, easily fools the half-drunk pirates standing watch. They're surprised that he's home, as they thought he had just left for the East, but Jarmangle insults their mothers in a suitably pirate-like fashion and they kindly shut their mouths. Jarmangle and Feer head into the cave and discover that there's not much to it; no tunnels or twists, no chambers, no death traps. There is, at the far end, a pool that seems to have no bottom, perhaps feeding into the ocean and the mermen city itself. Within the pool, set inside a magic bubble, is the pact stone, and guarding the stone is what Feer correctly determines to be a were-shark.
They exit the cave, find the others, and report their findings. If they can find some way to distract the were-shark, they reason, they'll be able to grab the stone. But what if the removal of the stone results in some sort of trap being tripped? Jarmangle and Feer had not detected any mechanisms, but they're also ill-versed in the ways of arcane tortures. Robyn offers that they might swap the pact stone with her Charm of Nebulous Shape and Size, and Jarmangle suggests using the bloody dragon meat to distract the were-shark.
They return to the cave-- Tralamin still wears his owlbear cloak over his pirate disguise, and "Bergris" introduces him to the guard pirates as his trusted ally, Lt. Owlbearicus-- and set their plan into action. They tie the bloodied dragon meat to a rock so that it will sink. As soon as it hits the water, the magical blood spreads, making the water murky and hard to see through. But they do see the were-shark descending after the meat before it becomes impossible to see.
Irving uses his magically-conjured hand to swap the charm for the pact stone. As the water starts to clear, they see that the bloodied meat also attracted the attention of some nearby mermen. Fooled, for the moment, by the charm, they do not realize the pact stone is missing, but they are confused as to why "Bergris" is in the cave, as they only meet to confirm the pact on the solstice, which is still three weeks away. Jarmangle apologizes and says he simply got the dates mixed up while at sea.
They leave the cave without incident, and then they find Tyne.
Tallybrooke
She confirms that, yes, her employer is Tallybrooke, and takes them to Tallybrooke's impressive manor house so that they might hand over the stone and collect their gold. The group, realizing that Tallybrooke is unlikely to have seen the pact stone, and wishing to be cautious, gives him the glittering jewel they found in the office of the mayor of Firepalm, passing it off as the pact stone. Tallybrooke takes the bait, and points the group to a table on which sits a heap of gold and announces that he is taking his leave.
They are, naturally, suspicious, but they determine that there's nothing magical or illusory about the gold. And so, they all take their money. All, that is, but Jarmangle, who steals away with Tyne for their proposed tryst.
The Secret
But as Tyne starts to undress, Jarmangle discovers that she has a brand on her shoulder-- very close to the distorted brand on his shoulder, which he used to prove his identity to Evelyn. When he asks about it, Tyne explains how she got it.
She is the daughter of Captain Bergris; when her father, her pregnant mother, and herself were captured by one of the empires of the East, they were all branded as pirates. Bergris escaped, but left Tyne and her mother in the clutches of the Empire. Her mother died in childbirth, and the baby, her brother, was branded a few days after his birth. Tyne doubts her brother survived.
The only thing she hates worse than the empire, she says, is the only other person alive with the brand-- her father, Captain Bergris.
Jarmangle reveals that he, too, has the brand-- and both of them realize the reason why he bore a resemblance to Bergris. Jarmangle is his son, and Tyne's lost brother. This, of course, puts the kibosh on their plans, and Tyne hurriedly gets dressed.
Wizard's Cipher
They join the others; Uncle tries to pump Jarmangle for details and Tralamin offers, given the short time they were away, that it happens to everyone. Jarmangle reveals that Tyne is his sister, and supposes he'll have to go back to hitting on the bard. Robyn, the bard in question, rolls her eyes.
Suddenly, the night sky is filled with strange signs. Irving intuits that it is a Wizard's Cipher. It's a cipher that disappears after a few minutes; even if you write it down, even if you memorize it, the cipher disappears from both page and memory. The translation would remain, meaning that it has to be cracked within that small window.
Eagerly, the entire group throws themselves into cracking it. Just as the words start to fade, they do; it's a message sent by Tallybrooke to an eastern empire, suggesting that the mermen pact is broken and confirming that he will be made governor of Bloodpurse Isle once the empire comes to destroy the returning Captain Bergris and his pirates. Tyne is shocked; had she known Tallybrooke worked for the empire she despised, she would never have sent for Jarmangle and his friends, would never have worked for him.
Returning the Stone
The group heads back to the cave, and finds within a group of angry mermen, readied for war with the pirates. Their trick has been discovered. Jarmangle, still doing a passable imitation of Bergris, apologizes and explains that a fiend named Tallybrooke was attempting to steal the stone, and that they took it only to prevent its theft. The logic might be screwy, but the delivery is convincing, and the "owlbear" they perceive standing next to Bergris is suitably frightening; the mermen agree to accept the stone and restore the pact, so long as the thief adheres to the mermen code and gives up one of their fingers. It's only now that they take note of one of the mermen, who has only two fingers and a thumb left on one of his hands.
Irving offers that it was his magically-conjured hand that stole the stone, and conjures another so that they might claim its finger.
Denouement
The pact restored, and all fingers intact, our heroes merely wait and watch as Bergris returns to the Isle, the empire fast on his heels. Said empire is quickly rebuffed when the mermen join the pirates. The empire flees, and so does Tallybrooke; in the days that follow, some report seeing him near the Dark Spire, an unholy tower looming on the mainland's peninsula.
Jarmangle and his friends (minus Tyne, who has disappeared) are brought before the real Bergris, who admires Jarmangle's audacity in impersonating him. Jarmangle reveals that Bergris is his father, and the conversation that follows is fairly awkward and not particularly warm.
Bergris does offer Jarmangle a place among his pirates, but Jarmangle has already found his place.
9.12.2010
3. The Terror That Came to Hodam
En route to Hodam, the five adventurers who braved the Tomb of the Holy Gnollish Kings-- Filliam, Tralamin, Jarmangle, Robyn, and Feer-- meet up with their friend, the human wizard Irving. While the quintet had tried but failed to save the life of the mysterious civilized gnoll, Irving was far more successful in tracking down Kylia and retrieving the gold she had stolen from the others. Thus reunited, the six heroes press on towards "the wretched cesspool of Hodam", renown for its drinking, gambling, violence, and whores.
But as they approach the once-bustling frontier town, they meet a red-nosed dwarf with a sad story to tell: temperance has come to Hodam. The Distaff Temperance Society-- a group of moralistic widows and spinsters-- has won the brewery in a card game and then shut it down. The prostitutes have been disappearing at an alarming rate, and the tieflings, once tolerated, are evicted without a second thought. The dwarf announces his intention to press on to Firepalm, but then decides to head to the city of Justice when Irving informs him that the Firepalm Dwarfs have been driven insane by the Firepalm Ore in their blood.
Jarmangle, with the help of the others, covers up his red tiefling skin and horns with a mask and some toweling. Thus disguised, they head into the town.
The People of Hodam
Our heroes soon make the acquaintance of Danald, formerly the owner of the brewery. It was his disapproving aunt, Matilda, who founded the Distaff Temperance Society. Ironically, she passed away just before the Society finally wrenched the brewery from him in a game with a card-shark called Lord Jasen. The legitimate gambling has been shut down, but a secret game is still held by the Society, which they use to keep the city in a perpetual state of poverty-- and thus ensuring that no one can question their power.
It seems a little silly to our heroes-- in a lawless town like Hodam, why doesn't someone just take the brewery back by force? But the residents are hesitant, says Danald; the Society is a bunch of old ladies, after all, and even the worst of scoundrels has to draw the line somewhere. Something might happen soon, though, if things don't get better.
They meet one of the society matrons and her gnollish slave. She sees nothing wrong with the Society's "good works", proclaiming that "pure blood is healthy blood"; she's convinced that the town's economy will bounce back, that somehow, there will be honest and civilized work to be found in this wilderness. Her slave seethes not-too-secretly with rage. Across the street from the brewery is what he refers to as sacred ground-- a scene of a great battle between a gnollish prince and a great evil. The evil's body was interred in the ground, turning the large mound of dirt and rock blood-red; the evil's spirit was sucked into the prince's blade.
And what were the humans of Hodam using the Blood Circle for? For boxing matches to the death, and other debaucheries. The humans, he says, are always meddling in things they can't even begin to understand.
Across the street, they see a procession of Society members running a female tiefling out of town. Jarmangle recognizes it as the tiefling with whom he flirted and crossed swords with at the burial site of the Gnollish Holy Dead. The disguised Jarmangle leaves the group, following the procession.
The group, meanwhile, meets a former prostitute, Melany, who is concerned about the disappearance of the other girls. An atypical whore, Melany is well-read and seems well-versed in economics, proceeding to lecture our heroes about the dangers of basing an economy around ale, sex, and gambling.
Tyne's challenge
Jarmangle catches up to the procession and convinces the Society matrons to let him escort "this filthy tiefling" out of town, as she might be dangerous. The Society is duly charmed by this masked stranger and gives custody of the tiefling, Tyne, over to him.
Once on the outskirts of town, Tyne recognizes Jarmangle, who flirts with her incessantly. Tyne is not impressed, but doesn't give him the cold shoulder, either.
Tyne explains that when the tieflings were booted out of town, she was permitted to remain, so long as she performed missions for Lord Jasen. One of those missions-- the most important-- was to retrieve the sword of the Gnollish King of War, the very sword that was now in Jarmangle's possession. Because she failed, she was now persona non grata.
Jarmangle seems exquisitely single-minded, hand-waving all that off as he makes yet another lame pass at his fellow tiefling. Tyne hints that she might be amenable to his advances if he can get revenge for her and kill Lord Jasen. Without missing a beat, Jarmangle agrees and asks where he can find Jasen; Tyne doesn't know. Somewhere in town. He only comes out during the secret card game, and only when the house is losing. Tyne leaves, and Jarmangle rushes off to rejoin the others.
Finding the card game
Jarmangle suggests that they enter the card game, win back the brewery, and then kill Lord Jasen. Irving is all well-and-good with the first two, but blanches at the last: just kill him, without provocation?
In trying to find the card game, they make the mistake of approaching a priggish Eladrin called Ofscar. Jarmangle casually insults him by referring to him as an "elf"; Ofscar challenges him to a duel by slapping him with his glove. Jarmangle, in turn, steals the glove, further inciting Ofscar, who now threatens to "turn them in" for attempting to find the card game.
The elven bard Robyn, perhaps a little tired of this flighty Eladrin, knocks him over and steals his coin pouch, containing some 500 gold coins. Irving is shocked at the behaviour of his traveling companions but says nothing about it.
Jarmangle is about to temporarily paralyze Ofscar with some magical stones he acquired from Tyne, but Tralamin has a better idea. He helps his fellow Eladrin off the dusty earth, and ascertains that Ofscar shares his thirst for knowledge and awareness. Tralamin gives Ofscar a powerful ritual scroll that's intended to impart absolute knowledge of one topic. Said scroll will leave him in a trance for hours; if the question is too cosmic for his brain to comprehend, he might be driven insane. Tralamin, of course, doesn't tell him that, but instead advises him to ask the biggest question he can.
Irving, again, is quite appalled when he learns the true possible consequences of Tralamin's actions. And while Robyn is now considerably richer, they've no clue as to how to get in on the card game.
That's when they meet Darface, a dwarf suffering from severe developmental disabilities. Darface, it turns out, knows exactly how to get into the game-- which building to go into, what words to say, and what the answer will mean. Others might dismiss him as a simpleton, but Irving listens intently to his words and deciphers their meaning.
The Pawn Shop
Before they take part in the game, however, they decide to stop at the pawn shop just outside of town, where Jarmangle hopes to replace his grappling hook, among other things. The pawnbroker is pleased to see them; everyone's been selling/pawning these days, but no one's been buying because no one has had money. In bartering with the pawnbroker, Jarmangle offers him one of the paralyzing stones, inadvertently encasing the broker in a statue-like layer of rock. With some chiding from Irving, Jarmangle gives the unaware broker the rest of the promised payment.
Lord Jasen
The game our six heroes enter isn't really about the cards, but about bluffing. Through their combined efforts, they quickly drive the dealer to bankruptcy. That's when the Society summons Lord Jasen.
Jasen is a very sickly but elegant looking human who ups the ante aggressively and seems particularly focused on the disguised Jarmangle, making veiled references to something in his possession. Jasen's fabled luck, however, seems to have run out, as Filliam and Tralamin are surprisingly adept at the game. In a desperate gamble, Jasen puts the brewery on the table, hoping to chide Jarmangle into gambling the sword. Instead, Jarmangle folds.
So focused was Jasen on Jarmangle, however, that he quite forgot Tralamin, who wins the brewery and a sizable amount of gold. Enraged, Jasen grabs Robyn and demands that both the brewery deed and the gnollish sword be "returned" to him.
"Or else," he says, curling back his lip to reveal his sharp canines, "I'll open her pretty throat!"
Part II
The Vampire and the Daywalker
Lord Jasen is a vampire-- even when looking quite ill, he's still more than a match for our fledgling heroes. He has, however, overplayed his hand; the Society members are horrified to discover that the handsome gentlemen is a member of the undead. His support in Hodam is gone, and he knows he'll be hunted down by its enraged citizens. Jasen, terrified, bites Robyn-- draining her dry in but a few scant moments-- and turns to mist, escaping into the night.
Using the Peacebringer mace that she took from the Gnollish Queen of Peace, Feer saves Robyn from the brink of death. She is, however, still feverish and unconscious. Tyne appears and leads the group to one of the whorehouses where they can hold up for the night.
As they watch over the ailing Robyn, they begin to piece things together. Jarmangle is incensed that Tyne put them up against a vampire, but she claims that she had no idea of his true nature. That must be why he wanted to get rid of all the tieflings, though, she says; there's a legend that the oldest vampires couldn't handle the "impure" blood of tieflings. Remember the slogan of the Society-- "pure blood is healthy blood"-- they realize that perhaps the same could be said of blood containing high amounts of alcohol. Perhaps Jasen tried to feed on someone with such an elevated level of alcohol and the resulting toxic shock is what resulted in his current haggard and sickly appearance. Irving realizes that in order to be one of those oldest of vampires, Jasen must be the ancient evil that the gnollish slave spoke of, and that the sword Jarmangle holds must contain Jasen's spirit and power.
Come the morning, Tyne has left and Robyn awakes but discovers that she has changed; the interaction of the vampire's bite and the holy Peacebringer mace has transformed her into a living "half-vampire" daywalker, a dhampyr.
The Fearless Vampire Killers
When the six adventurers walk out onto the street, they find it a scene of drunken debauchery. The entire town, realizing that Jasen is a vampire and, like the visiting heroes, realizing that the alcohol is toxic, decided to break into the brewery as a kind of protection. The group considers leaving things be, but Irving convinces them that slaying the vampire is the best course of action. Jarmangle agrees, and all six down a frosty one before setting to work trying to find Jasen's lair.
It doesn't prove a difficult task; the Hodam graveyard, colourfully called the Corpse-dump, has caved in, revealing a tunnel leading towards the Blood Circle. Our heroes venture into the tunnel before coming face to face with a magical sentry. This Eye of Alarm guards the entrance to Jasen's lair.
Irving creates an illusion of mist, making it easier for Jarmangle to sneak to the door, unnoticed. Jarmangle takes note of a host of undead horrors: former whores turned into vampire spawn, animated skeletons, the rotting corpses of two large dogs, and a wight dressed in the garb of a Society member. And then, at the far end of the chamber, there sits the accursed coffin.
Desiring to catch the undead by surprise, the six rack their brains for a way to thwart the Eye of Alarm. Filliam suggests that Irving create an illusion, a sort of miniature magical "drawing" of the tunnel that can be conjured directly in front of the eye. Irving does so, and it works!
Aunt Matilda, the Deathlock Wight
The battle that follows is fierce and hard-fought; Irving and Jarmangle both come close to death's door. But through valiant effort, cunning strategy, and the powerful fireball magic at Irving's disposal, the living proves victorious. Once Matilda-- the now-undead founder of the Distaff Temperance Society-- falls, the other undead crumble to useless dust.
Tralamin creates a wooden stake from his quarter-staff; Feer opens the coffin with a mighty pull; Robyn drives the stake directly into the groggy vampire's heart. Carefully, our heroes take the dazed, pathetic vampire out of its coffin and carry its corpse up the tunnel. Exposing it to sunlight causes it to burst into flames. Even as they watch it burn, they all know that if they should meet a vampire lord again, they will not achieve victory quite so easily.
Denouement
Filliam, now a much richer man, bids his friends good-bye so that he might return to the wondrous house where they tried to save the mysterious civilized gnoll. The remaining five elect to stay in Hodam for the time being, with Tralamin especially pleased to be the new owner of its brewery.
But as they approach the once-bustling frontier town, they meet a red-nosed dwarf with a sad story to tell: temperance has come to Hodam. The Distaff Temperance Society-- a group of moralistic widows and spinsters-- has won the brewery in a card game and then shut it down. The prostitutes have been disappearing at an alarming rate, and the tieflings, once tolerated, are evicted without a second thought. The dwarf announces his intention to press on to Firepalm, but then decides to head to the city of Justice when Irving informs him that the Firepalm Dwarfs have been driven insane by the Firepalm Ore in their blood.
Jarmangle, with the help of the others, covers up his red tiefling skin and horns with a mask and some toweling. Thus disguised, they head into the town.
The People of Hodam
Our heroes soon make the acquaintance of Danald, formerly the owner of the brewery. It was his disapproving aunt, Matilda, who founded the Distaff Temperance Society. Ironically, she passed away just before the Society finally wrenched the brewery from him in a game with a card-shark called Lord Jasen. The legitimate gambling has been shut down, but a secret game is still held by the Society, which they use to keep the city in a perpetual state of poverty-- and thus ensuring that no one can question their power.
It seems a little silly to our heroes-- in a lawless town like Hodam, why doesn't someone just take the brewery back by force? But the residents are hesitant, says Danald; the Society is a bunch of old ladies, after all, and even the worst of scoundrels has to draw the line somewhere. Something might happen soon, though, if things don't get better.
They meet one of the society matrons and her gnollish slave. She sees nothing wrong with the Society's "good works", proclaiming that "pure blood is healthy blood"; she's convinced that the town's economy will bounce back, that somehow, there will be honest and civilized work to be found in this wilderness. Her slave seethes not-too-secretly with rage. Across the street from the brewery is what he refers to as sacred ground-- a scene of a great battle between a gnollish prince and a great evil. The evil's body was interred in the ground, turning the large mound of dirt and rock blood-red; the evil's spirit was sucked into the prince's blade.
And what were the humans of Hodam using the Blood Circle for? For boxing matches to the death, and other debaucheries. The humans, he says, are always meddling in things they can't even begin to understand.
Across the street, they see a procession of Society members running a female tiefling out of town. Jarmangle recognizes it as the tiefling with whom he flirted and crossed swords with at the burial site of the Gnollish Holy Dead. The disguised Jarmangle leaves the group, following the procession.
The group, meanwhile, meets a former prostitute, Melany, who is concerned about the disappearance of the other girls. An atypical whore, Melany is well-read and seems well-versed in economics, proceeding to lecture our heroes about the dangers of basing an economy around ale, sex, and gambling.
Tyne's challenge
Jarmangle catches up to the procession and convinces the Society matrons to let him escort "this filthy tiefling" out of town, as she might be dangerous. The Society is duly charmed by this masked stranger and gives custody of the tiefling, Tyne, over to him.
Once on the outskirts of town, Tyne recognizes Jarmangle, who flirts with her incessantly. Tyne is not impressed, but doesn't give him the cold shoulder, either.
Tyne explains that when the tieflings were booted out of town, she was permitted to remain, so long as she performed missions for Lord Jasen. One of those missions-- the most important-- was to retrieve the sword of the Gnollish King of War, the very sword that was now in Jarmangle's possession. Because she failed, she was now persona non grata.
Jarmangle seems exquisitely single-minded, hand-waving all that off as he makes yet another lame pass at his fellow tiefling. Tyne hints that she might be amenable to his advances if he can get revenge for her and kill Lord Jasen. Without missing a beat, Jarmangle agrees and asks where he can find Jasen; Tyne doesn't know. Somewhere in town. He only comes out during the secret card game, and only when the house is losing. Tyne leaves, and Jarmangle rushes off to rejoin the others.
Finding the card game
Jarmangle suggests that they enter the card game, win back the brewery, and then kill Lord Jasen. Irving is all well-and-good with the first two, but blanches at the last: just kill him, without provocation?
In trying to find the card game, they make the mistake of approaching a priggish Eladrin called Ofscar. Jarmangle casually insults him by referring to him as an "elf"; Ofscar challenges him to a duel by slapping him with his glove. Jarmangle, in turn, steals the glove, further inciting Ofscar, who now threatens to "turn them in" for attempting to find the card game.
The elven bard Robyn, perhaps a little tired of this flighty Eladrin, knocks him over and steals his coin pouch, containing some 500 gold coins. Irving is shocked at the behaviour of his traveling companions but says nothing about it.
Jarmangle is about to temporarily paralyze Ofscar with some magical stones he acquired from Tyne, but Tralamin has a better idea. He helps his fellow Eladrin off the dusty earth, and ascertains that Ofscar shares his thirst for knowledge and awareness. Tralamin gives Ofscar a powerful ritual scroll that's intended to impart absolute knowledge of one topic. Said scroll will leave him in a trance for hours; if the question is too cosmic for his brain to comprehend, he might be driven insane. Tralamin, of course, doesn't tell him that, but instead advises him to ask the biggest question he can.
Irving, again, is quite appalled when he learns the true possible consequences of Tralamin's actions. And while Robyn is now considerably richer, they've no clue as to how to get in on the card game.
That's when they meet Darface, a dwarf suffering from severe developmental disabilities. Darface, it turns out, knows exactly how to get into the game-- which building to go into, what words to say, and what the answer will mean. Others might dismiss him as a simpleton, but Irving listens intently to his words and deciphers their meaning.
The Pawn Shop
Before they take part in the game, however, they decide to stop at the pawn shop just outside of town, where Jarmangle hopes to replace his grappling hook, among other things. The pawnbroker is pleased to see them; everyone's been selling/pawning these days, but no one's been buying because no one has had money. In bartering with the pawnbroker, Jarmangle offers him one of the paralyzing stones, inadvertently encasing the broker in a statue-like layer of rock. With some chiding from Irving, Jarmangle gives the unaware broker the rest of the promised payment.
Lord Jasen
The game our six heroes enter isn't really about the cards, but about bluffing. Through their combined efforts, they quickly drive the dealer to bankruptcy. That's when the Society summons Lord Jasen.
Jasen is a very sickly but elegant looking human who ups the ante aggressively and seems particularly focused on the disguised Jarmangle, making veiled references to something in his possession. Jasen's fabled luck, however, seems to have run out, as Filliam and Tralamin are surprisingly adept at the game. In a desperate gamble, Jasen puts the brewery on the table, hoping to chide Jarmangle into gambling the sword. Instead, Jarmangle folds.
So focused was Jasen on Jarmangle, however, that he quite forgot Tralamin, who wins the brewery and a sizable amount of gold. Enraged, Jasen grabs Robyn and demands that both the brewery deed and the gnollish sword be "returned" to him.
"Or else," he says, curling back his lip to reveal his sharp canines, "I'll open her pretty throat!"
Part II
The Vampire and the Daywalker
Lord Jasen is a vampire-- even when looking quite ill, he's still more than a match for our fledgling heroes. He has, however, overplayed his hand; the Society members are horrified to discover that the handsome gentlemen is a member of the undead. His support in Hodam is gone, and he knows he'll be hunted down by its enraged citizens. Jasen, terrified, bites Robyn-- draining her dry in but a few scant moments-- and turns to mist, escaping into the night.
Using the Peacebringer mace that she took from the Gnollish Queen of Peace, Feer saves Robyn from the brink of death. She is, however, still feverish and unconscious. Tyne appears and leads the group to one of the whorehouses where they can hold up for the night.
As they watch over the ailing Robyn, they begin to piece things together. Jarmangle is incensed that Tyne put them up against a vampire, but she claims that she had no idea of his true nature. That must be why he wanted to get rid of all the tieflings, though, she says; there's a legend that the oldest vampires couldn't handle the "impure" blood of tieflings. Remember the slogan of the Society-- "pure blood is healthy blood"-- they realize that perhaps the same could be said of blood containing high amounts of alcohol. Perhaps Jasen tried to feed on someone with such an elevated level of alcohol and the resulting toxic shock is what resulted in his current haggard and sickly appearance. Irving realizes that in order to be one of those oldest of vampires, Jasen must be the ancient evil that the gnollish slave spoke of, and that the sword Jarmangle holds must contain Jasen's spirit and power.
Come the morning, Tyne has left and Robyn awakes but discovers that she has changed; the interaction of the vampire's bite and the holy Peacebringer mace has transformed her into a living "half-vampire" daywalker, a dhampyr.
The Fearless Vampire Killers
When the six adventurers walk out onto the street, they find it a scene of drunken debauchery. The entire town, realizing that Jasen is a vampire and, like the visiting heroes, realizing that the alcohol is toxic, decided to break into the brewery as a kind of protection. The group considers leaving things be, but Irving convinces them that slaying the vampire is the best course of action. Jarmangle agrees, and all six down a frosty one before setting to work trying to find Jasen's lair.
It doesn't prove a difficult task; the Hodam graveyard, colourfully called the Corpse-dump, has caved in, revealing a tunnel leading towards the Blood Circle. Our heroes venture into the tunnel before coming face to face with a magical sentry. This Eye of Alarm guards the entrance to Jasen's lair.
Irving creates an illusion of mist, making it easier for Jarmangle to sneak to the door, unnoticed. Jarmangle takes note of a host of undead horrors: former whores turned into vampire spawn, animated skeletons, the rotting corpses of two large dogs, and a wight dressed in the garb of a Society member. And then, at the far end of the chamber, there sits the accursed coffin.
Desiring to catch the undead by surprise, the six rack their brains for a way to thwart the Eye of Alarm. Filliam suggests that Irving create an illusion, a sort of miniature magical "drawing" of the tunnel that can be conjured directly in front of the eye. Irving does so, and it works!
Aunt Matilda, the Deathlock Wight
The battle that follows is fierce and hard-fought; Irving and Jarmangle both come close to death's door. But through valiant effort, cunning strategy, and the powerful fireball magic at Irving's disposal, the living proves victorious. Once Matilda-- the now-undead founder of the Distaff Temperance Society-- falls, the other undead crumble to useless dust.
Tralamin creates a wooden stake from his quarter-staff; Feer opens the coffin with a mighty pull; Robyn drives the stake directly into the groggy vampire's heart. Carefully, our heroes take the dazed, pathetic vampire out of its coffin and carry its corpse up the tunnel. Exposing it to sunlight causes it to burst into flames. Even as they watch it burn, they all know that if they should meet a vampire lord again, they will not achieve victory quite so easily.
Denouement
Filliam, now a much richer man, bids his friends good-bye so that he might return to the wondrous house where they tried to save the mysterious civilized gnoll. The remaining five elect to stay in Hodam for the time being, with Tralamin especially pleased to be the new owner of its brewery.
8.29.2010
2. The Secret of Steampunk Gnoll
Having fled the town of Firepalm in the middle of the night and made camp en route to the notorious city of Hodam, our adventurers awaken to discover, perhaps unsurprisingly, that the sociopathic elf Kylia has left-- taking with her all their food and gold. With a steely nerve that belies his usual calm, the wizard Irving volunteers to "deal with the situation", and that he'll meet the others in Hodam.
The remaining five break camp and start in just that direction when they spot two figures in the distance, engaged in a duel: crossbows at twenty paces. Both of them are dressed in the finest style of the East; one is a human and a stranger to them. One is known to them, and a gnoll-- the very same gnoll who offered some cryptic advice in the Firepalm Mine.
The human fires first, and his bolt goes straight through the gnoll. The gnoll's body shakes and quivers, and then he straightens his arm and unloads his own shot directly into the man's brainpan. The human falls stone dead; the gnoll crumples to the ground in agony.
First Aid
While the others rush to the side of the gnoll, Jarmangle-- perhaps being less trusting-- goes to the human body.
Feer uses her expertise in the art of healing to remove the arrow: first, she sits the gnoll up, then she sets the front end of the arrow aflame, then she grasps the back end and pulls it through, cauterizing the wound. The gnoll is thankful, but the ordeal is not over; Jarmangle, having examined the crossbow, determines that it is laced with a deadly venom.
The gnoll explains that he and the human, Edward, were engaged in a duel of honour, and that there is bound to be an anti-venom in human's home. He knows the way, but will have to be carried.
Suddenly, there is a terrible rending noise; they look to where the human's body once lay and see that he has been devoured by a hideous fire beetle. It is flanked on the left by another fire beetle, and on the right by a larger, older she-beetle.
A battle ensues, and the five adventurers manage to protect the ailing gnoll from the sharp pincers and deadly spray of the attacking carrion. They kill the two fire beetles, but the she-beetle Klikslyth-- the survivor of many battles in the past-- scurries off to fight another day.
Cracking open the shell of one of the fire beetles, Filliam constructs a makeshift stretcher for the gnoll. Somewhat beguiled by gnolls in general, and this very modern gnoll in particular, Filliam seems unusually concerned for its well-being.
The House of Wonders
Filliam and the others take the gnoll upstairs to the bedroom so that he might rest while they search for an anti-venom. Filliam elects to keep watch over the gnoll while the others explore the house.
There are many queer things to be found in this house: a violin mounted on a shield with a blade that doubles as a bow (perfect for a bard like Robyn!); a mechanical box that keeps food from spoiling, and another that modulates the temperature of the room; a library full of books and a machine that can duplicate them. Some are less enraptured with these wonders than others; Tralamin, for his part, is mostly interested in an owlbear rug, which he appropriates, despite its ungainly bulk, as a cloak.
In the kitchen, Feer and Robyn find two baby ferrets rummaging in the cupboards; Feer having been especially desirous of a pet is quick to adopt the baby. Feer also finds a book on gnolls in the library; written by an Easterner, it's bound to be a little condescending and inaccurate, but she figures it will provide a solid-enough grounding in the customs and history of the gnollish tribes.
In the cellar, Jarmangle finds a strange metal puppet. At first, he mistakes it for a Warforged, but Tralamin-- an astute student of history no matter how much else he gets wrong-- determines that it can't be a war-forged. It might be something else entirely, some sort of lifeless "steam golem".
They also discover three vials of unidentified anti-venom. Jarmangle compares them to the venom found in the human's crossbow, but cannot find a match. Robyn consults one of the books in the library and determines that the venom in the bow is actually a mixture of three venoms, and that mixing the three vials would create an antidote.
However, when it comes time to administer this antidote, she misreads a crucial passage and-- to the disbelief of the others-- injects the antidote directly into the gnoll's skull. Knowing that his time left on this earth is short-- and lamenting having been so cryptic in the mine-- he asks that his body be buried with the Gnoll Holy Dead, some miles west of the Firepalm Mine. The group agrees, and watches, sad and curious, as he drifts away.
The Steampunk Gnoll is dead, and his secret died with him.
Part II
Funeral For a Stranger
They arrive at the burial grounds of the Gnoll Holy Dead at dusk. They create a plot and gently lay the gnoll's body to rest. They feel a need to say a few words, but no one has much to say about this figure that came into their lives, and left it, so abruptly.
Tralamin finds himself drawn to the massive Tomb of Gnollish Kings and, perhaps unwisely, suggests that they investigate it. Jarmangle, always ready for adventure and/or sacrilege, is up for it; Filliam is appalled but his curiosity about all things gnollish gets the better of him. The quintet decides to go in as a group.
Legend of The Three Gnollish Kings
Using her book of gnollish history, Feer explains that this tomb is supposed to hold three legendary tribal leaders, akin to Eastern kings: the King of Peace, the King of War, and the King of What Will Be. Legend says that the three kings died voluntarily on this spot to seal up a great evil; when the time has come to destroy that evil once and for all, the two lesser kings will rise from the dead and awaken the King of What Will Be.
Pressing forward into the tomb, they come into a great alabaster hall. There is a hallway bearing off on either side, and a massive door on the other end, with two thrones each facing a hand-crank. These cranks are too heavy to be moved by their hands, and Jarmangle intuits that this great evil might be on the other side. The group decides instead to investigate the two hallways bearing off from the great hall, starting with the one on the left.
The Chambers of Peace
They come to a room with a massive pit, some thirty feet across and miles deep. On the other side, there is a door from which emanates impossibly bright light. The doorway behind them is suddenly blocked by a massive stone door, and they realize they have no choice but to cross.
Jarmangle winks at Robyn (much to her apathy) before breaking out his grappling hook. He whirls it above his head and tosses it clear across the chasm, finding delicate purchase in the stone floor. Filliam elects to go first, moving hand-over-hand across the way. Once he reaches the other side, he unhooks the grapple and ties it more securely to a chunk of rock jutting out of the ground. Feer is next, and she passes without trouble.
Tralamin, however, is another story. He refuses to remove his heavy owlbear rug cloak and very nearly falls to his death. Robyn and Jarmangle are unable to keep their end of the rope, and Tralamin swings over to the other end of the chasm. The others beg him to drop the owlbear, but again he refuses. Irritated, Filliam and Feer grab hold of the rope and hoist the obstinate Eladrin warlock upwards.
They toss the dangling end of the rope to Jarmangle and make sure the grapple is fixed securely. Without warning, and much to her dismay, Jarmangle circles Robyn's supple waist with his arm, grips the robe, and jumps out into the chasm.
He slams into the wall, losing his grip on her waist. At the last second, Robyn grabs hold of his ankles. Not willing to listen to his excuses or to put her life further at risk, she tries to climb over him; she slips and now only has one hand gripping on one ankle. Thankfully, the others are able to hoist them up to safety.
Jarmangle gives Robyn the eye, but she is not amused. Attempting to prove his bravery, he marches towards the bright light, only to find his arm catching on holy fire. It is a holy place, and though it brings the others peace, it is forbidden for a tiefling.
The other enter the room, and find not a gnollish king, but the incorruptible corpse of a gnollish queen. Serene in repose, she fills them with a sense of calm. Tralamin, relying on his "Eladrin senses" and "holistic training" claims that this must be the tomb of the Queen of War. Robyn looks to the others and shakes her head.
They notice that her body rests on a sort of pressure plate, and that the gnollish queen holds a scepter. Feer shouts out to Jarmangle, knowing that he possesses a Charm of Nebulous Shape and Size that can be switched with any small object and fool the owner unless they inspect it closely. Jarmangle tosses it in, and Feer exchanges it for the scepter.
However, the scepter has no living owner, and the pressure plate is not fooled. Fortunately, it is not a trap but quite the opposite; the weight of the holy scepter having been removed, the floors of the adjacent room have moved just a smidgen closer together. Jarmangle alerts the group to this, and after a brief and tense discussion, they remove the body from the plate. The floor closes over the chasm completely, and the stone door cranks back up from the doorway.
They return from the hall, and place the gnollish queen on one of the two thrones. Then, they move into the next room.
The Chambers of War
The next room is much like the one in the other wing-- same dimensions, same door with light peering out on the other end-- only there is no pit. But as soon as they enter, heavy stone doors slide over both openings, and those two walls begin to move towards one another. Within but five minutes, they will be smashed between them.
Noticing the crackled tile on the floor, Jarmangle immediately sets to work trying to pry it up. He discovers, to his horror, that underneath the thin floor is another miles deep pit. They can't go down to get out of this one.
But maybe they can go up? Tralamin notices that the ceiling is about a foot higher than the moving walls. Jarmangle grabs his grapple and attaches it to the top of one of the moving walls. He starts to climb up it, but the rumbling walls unsteady his balance and he falls on his back. The tiles make a sickening crackling sound; the moving walls is too much stress for them, they will not hold.
Robyn doesn't even bother to wait for Jarmangle to get up; stepping right over him (much to his delight), she too attempts to climb the grapple, and she, too, falls (ditto). Tralamin then suggests that they form a "human", or, more accurately, a "human-elf-tiefling-eladrin" ladder, each one on top of another's shoulders. It's a goofy idea, but it seems to work: first Feer, then Filliam, then Robyn, then Jarmangle all get up successfully, leaving Tralamin to try his luck with the rope and grapple.
Feer and the others discover that the moving wall isn't solid, but rather a plate being moved by a sort of piston. Assured of safety on the other side, Tralamin starts climbing the rope. His owlbear rug again proves to be a problem, and it appears time is running out: only desperate seconds remain before he's destined to become a red stain. Convinced of the seriousness of the situation, he reluctantly casts off the heavy owlbear rug and shimmies up the rope. He seems quite despondent.
Just before the walls are about to close in, Jarmangle leaps back down after the owlbear rug. The floor directly beneath him at last gives way, and the walls smash together with a heavy thud.
Jarmangle, however, is still alive. He's hanging on for dear life to the last tendrils of rope from what used to be his grappling line. The others, peering over the newly-created pit from the other side, toss him a line, which he catches with his feet. Always the show-off, Jarmangle does a backwards flip and then shimmies up the rope.
The first thing he does is give another one of his looks at Robyn; she is still quite unimpressed. Tralamin, for his part, is rather miffed that after all that, Jarmangle failed to rescue his owlbear "cloak".
The elf and the eladrin now attempt to enter the actual tomb, but finds that it gives them the same burning sensation that the previous one gave to Jarmangle. (This confuses Tralamin, who still maintains that the first chamber was of War, and so why would the chamber of peace be unholy to elves and eladrin?) Jarmangle enters the tomb, and finds the Gnollish King of War there, resting, his body incorruptible, much like the queen, on a pressure plate. Instead of a scepter, he holds a cursed sword. Jarmangle pilfers the sword for himself, and instantly discovers a strange bond with it, almost as if the thing itself were alive.
He picks up the king's body; the pressure plate rises up, and a secret doorway opens in the room with the others. They move through the doorway and find themselves back in the main room, where they place the king on the second throne.
Suddenly, and of their own volition, the two cranks begin to turn, and the door rises up.
The Empty Tomb
There is a pressure plate in this third tomb, but there is no king there, no sign that a king had ever been there, and no relic, be it holy or unholy. What the room does contain, however, is an ancient door, exactly like the one they found in the Firepalm Mine. His ritual stone glowing, Tralamin rightly intuits that this is what he was being drawn to. They have another piece of the puzzle, but still do not possess the knowledge and experience necessary to put it together.
Before they leave, just for the hell of it, Jarmangle jumps on the pressure plate-- and is quickly struck with four arrows that fly out from the walls. They are only flesh wounds, and after a moment he feels almost as good as new.
Filliam suggests that they depress the plate again, to see if it serves any other purpose. He asks Feer and Robyn if either would place their ferret on the plate. Both are horrified. He is quick to assure them that he values the lives of ferrets, but not as much as the lives of the civilized races.
Fire Dwarfs Redux
As they exit the tomb, they find themselves surrounded by a group of insane fire dwarfs-- and one buxom tiefling, who catches Jarmangle's roving eye. The tiefling appears to be working with the crazed fire dwarfs, and Tralamin-- showing his usual firm grasp on the exact opposite of what's going on-- solemnly declares that the dwarfs are there coincidentally, and that there's no way that they, too, could be drawn to the ancient door inside the crypt.
A battle ensues, and though these dwarfs are as simple-minded as their brethren from the mine, they prove much more dangerous when not trapped on small islands surrounded by water. The battle is fierce and hard-fought-- perhaps made more so by the tactics of the female tiefling, who Jarmangle, perhaps unwisely, does not engage in combat. Indeed, even when she attacks him, he persists in making passes at her. Whether or not this bothers Robyn was not a question anyone concerned themselves with, as they were, indeed, fighting for their lives.
But as the tide of battle turned, and the fire dwarfs started to dwindle in number, the tiefling temptress made a run for it. Without her keen assistance, the remaining dwarfs were quickly routed and defeated.
Denouement
Our heroes decided to continue to Hodam, so that they might meet up with Irving. Filliam, however, displayed hesitance, and announced that he was thinking instead of taking up residence in the house of wonders-- to study its mechanisms, read at his leisure the books in its library, and perhaps even to attempt the resurrection of the strange "steam golem" that lay forlorn in its cellar.
The remaining five break camp and start in just that direction when they spot two figures in the distance, engaged in a duel: crossbows at twenty paces. Both of them are dressed in the finest style of the East; one is a human and a stranger to them. One is known to them, and a gnoll-- the very same gnoll who offered some cryptic advice in the Firepalm Mine.
The human fires first, and his bolt goes straight through the gnoll. The gnoll's body shakes and quivers, and then he straightens his arm and unloads his own shot directly into the man's brainpan. The human falls stone dead; the gnoll crumples to the ground in agony.
First Aid
While the others rush to the side of the gnoll, Jarmangle-- perhaps being less trusting-- goes to the human body.
Feer uses her expertise in the art of healing to remove the arrow: first, she sits the gnoll up, then she sets the front end of the arrow aflame, then she grasps the back end and pulls it through, cauterizing the wound. The gnoll is thankful, but the ordeal is not over; Jarmangle, having examined the crossbow, determines that it is laced with a deadly venom.
The gnoll explains that he and the human, Edward, were engaged in a duel of honour, and that there is bound to be an anti-venom in human's home. He knows the way, but will have to be carried.
Suddenly, there is a terrible rending noise; they look to where the human's body once lay and see that he has been devoured by a hideous fire beetle. It is flanked on the left by another fire beetle, and on the right by a larger, older she-beetle.
A battle ensues, and the five adventurers manage to protect the ailing gnoll from the sharp pincers and deadly spray of the attacking carrion. They kill the two fire beetles, but the she-beetle Klikslyth-- the survivor of many battles in the past-- scurries off to fight another day.
Cracking open the shell of one of the fire beetles, Filliam constructs a makeshift stretcher for the gnoll. Somewhat beguiled by gnolls in general, and this very modern gnoll in particular, Filliam seems unusually concerned for its well-being.
The House of Wonders
Filliam and the others take the gnoll upstairs to the bedroom so that he might rest while they search for an anti-venom. Filliam elects to keep watch over the gnoll while the others explore the house.
There are many queer things to be found in this house: a violin mounted on a shield with a blade that doubles as a bow (perfect for a bard like Robyn!); a mechanical box that keeps food from spoiling, and another that modulates the temperature of the room; a library full of books and a machine that can duplicate them. Some are less enraptured with these wonders than others; Tralamin, for his part, is mostly interested in an owlbear rug, which he appropriates, despite its ungainly bulk, as a cloak.
In the kitchen, Feer and Robyn find two baby ferrets rummaging in the cupboards; Feer having been especially desirous of a pet is quick to adopt the baby. Feer also finds a book on gnolls in the library; written by an Easterner, it's bound to be a little condescending and inaccurate, but she figures it will provide a solid-enough grounding in the customs and history of the gnollish tribes.
In the cellar, Jarmangle finds a strange metal puppet. At first, he mistakes it for a Warforged, but Tralamin-- an astute student of history no matter how much else he gets wrong-- determines that it can't be a war-forged. It might be something else entirely, some sort of lifeless "steam golem".
They also discover three vials of unidentified anti-venom. Jarmangle compares them to the venom found in the human's crossbow, but cannot find a match. Robyn consults one of the books in the library and determines that the venom in the bow is actually a mixture of three venoms, and that mixing the three vials would create an antidote.
However, when it comes time to administer this antidote, she misreads a crucial passage and-- to the disbelief of the others-- injects the antidote directly into the gnoll's skull. Knowing that his time left on this earth is short-- and lamenting having been so cryptic in the mine-- he asks that his body be buried with the Gnoll Holy Dead, some miles west of the Firepalm Mine. The group agrees, and watches, sad and curious, as he drifts away.
The Steampunk Gnoll is dead, and his secret died with him.
Part II
Funeral For a Stranger
They arrive at the burial grounds of the Gnoll Holy Dead at dusk. They create a plot and gently lay the gnoll's body to rest. They feel a need to say a few words, but no one has much to say about this figure that came into their lives, and left it, so abruptly.
Tralamin finds himself drawn to the massive Tomb of Gnollish Kings and, perhaps unwisely, suggests that they investigate it. Jarmangle, always ready for adventure and/or sacrilege, is up for it; Filliam is appalled but his curiosity about all things gnollish gets the better of him. The quintet decides to go in as a group.
Legend of The Three Gnollish Kings
Using her book of gnollish history, Feer explains that this tomb is supposed to hold three legendary tribal leaders, akin to Eastern kings: the King of Peace, the King of War, and the King of What Will Be. Legend says that the three kings died voluntarily on this spot to seal up a great evil; when the time has come to destroy that evil once and for all, the two lesser kings will rise from the dead and awaken the King of What Will Be.
Pressing forward into the tomb, they come into a great alabaster hall. There is a hallway bearing off on either side, and a massive door on the other end, with two thrones each facing a hand-crank. These cranks are too heavy to be moved by their hands, and Jarmangle intuits that this great evil might be on the other side. The group decides instead to investigate the two hallways bearing off from the great hall, starting with the one on the left.
The Chambers of Peace
They come to a room with a massive pit, some thirty feet across and miles deep. On the other side, there is a door from which emanates impossibly bright light. The doorway behind them is suddenly blocked by a massive stone door, and they realize they have no choice but to cross.
Jarmangle winks at Robyn (much to her apathy) before breaking out his grappling hook. He whirls it above his head and tosses it clear across the chasm, finding delicate purchase in the stone floor. Filliam elects to go first, moving hand-over-hand across the way. Once he reaches the other side, he unhooks the grapple and ties it more securely to a chunk of rock jutting out of the ground. Feer is next, and she passes without trouble.
Tralamin, however, is another story. He refuses to remove his heavy owlbear rug cloak and very nearly falls to his death. Robyn and Jarmangle are unable to keep their end of the rope, and Tralamin swings over to the other end of the chasm. The others beg him to drop the owlbear, but again he refuses. Irritated, Filliam and Feer grab hold of the rope and hoist the obstinate Eladrin warlock upwards.
They toss the dangling end of the rope to Jarmangle and make sure the grapple is fixed securely. Without warning, and much to her dismay, Jarmangle circles Robyn's supple waist with his arm, grips the robe, and jumps out into the chasm.
He slams into the wall, losing his grip on her waist. At the last second, Robyn grabs hold of his ankles. Not willing to listen to his excuses or to put her life further at risk, she tries to climb over him; she slips and now only has one hand gripping on one ankle. Thankfully, the others are able to hoist them up to safety.
Jarmangle gives Robyn the eye, but she is not amused. Attempting to prove his bravery, he marches towards the bright light, only to find his arm catching on holy fire. It is a holy place, and though it brings the others peace, it is forbidden for a tiefling.
The other enter the room, and find not a gnollish king, but the incorruptible corpse of a gnollish queen. Serene in repose, she fills them with a sense of calm. Tralamin, relying on his "Eladrin senses" and "holistic training" claims that this must be the tomb of the Queen of War. Robyn looks to the others and shakes her head.
They notice that her body rests on a sort of pressure plate, and that the gnollish queen holds a scepter. Feer shouts out to Jarmangle, knowing that he possesses a Charm of Nebulous Shape and Size that can be switched with any small object and fool the owner unless they inspect it closely. Jarmangle tosses it in, and Feer exchanges it for the scepter.
However, the scepter has no living owner, and the pressure plate is not fooled. Fortunately, it is not a trap but quite the opposite; the weight of the holy scepter having been removed, the floors of the adjacent room have moved just a smidgen closer together. Jarmangle alerts the group to this, and after a brief and tense discussion, they remove the body from the plate. The floor closes over the chasm completely, and the stone door cranks back up from the doorway.
They return from the hall, and place the gnollish queen on one of the two thrones. Then, they move into the next room.
The Chambers of War
The next room is much like the one in the other wing-- same dimensions, same door with light peering out on the other end-- only there is no pit. But as soon as they enter, heavy stone doors slide over both openings, and those two walls begin to move towards one another. Within but five minutes, they will be smashed between them.
Noticing the crackled tile on the floor, Jarmangle immediately sets to work trying to pry it up. He discovers, to his horror, that underneath the thin floor is another miles deep pit. They can't go down to get out of this one.
But maybe they can go up? Tralamin notices that the ceiling is about a foot higher than the moving walls. Jarmangle grabs his grapple and attaches it to the top of one of the moving walls. He starts to climb up it, but the rumbling walls unsteady his balance and he falls on his back. The tiles make a sickening crackling sound; the moving walls is too much stress for them, they will not hold.
Robyn doesn't even bother to wait for Jarmangle to get up; stepping right over him (much to his delight), she too attempts to climb the grapple, and she, too, falls (ditto). Tralamin then suggests that they form a "human", or, more accurately, a "human-elf-tiefling-eladrin" ladder, each one on top of another's shoulders. It's a goofy idea, but it seems to work: first Feer, then Filliam, then Robyn, then Jarmangle all get up successfully, leaving Tralamin to try his luck with the rope and grapple.
Feer and the others discover that the moving wall isn't solid, but rather a plate being moved by a sort of piston. Assured of safety on the other side, Tralamin starts climbing the rope. His owlbear rug again proves to be a problem, and it appears time is running out: only desperate seconds remain before he's destined to become a red stain. Convinced of the seriousness of the situation, he reluctantly casts off the heavy owlbear rug and shimmies up the rope. He seems quite despondent.
Just before the walls are about to close in, Jarmangle leaps back down after the owlbear rug. The floor directly beneath him at last gives way, and the walls smash together with a heavy thud.
Jarmangle, however, is still alive. He's hanging on for dear life to the last tendrils of rope from what used to be his grappling line. The others, peering over the newly-created pit from the other side, toss him a line, which he catches with his feet. Always the show-off, Jarmangle does a backwards flip and then shimmies up the rope.
The first thing he does is give another one of his looks at Robyn; she is still quite unimpressed. Tralamin, for his part, is rather miffed that after all that, Jarmangle failed to rescue his owlbear "cloak".
The elf and the eladrin now attempt to enter the actual tomb, but finds that it gives them the same burning sensation that the previous one gave to Jarmangle. (This confuses Tralamin, who still maintains that the first chamber was of War, and so why would the chamber of peace be unholy to elves and eladrin?) Jarmangle enters the tomb, and finds the Gnollish King of War there, resting, his body incorruptible, much like the queen, on a pressure plate. Instead of a scepter, he holds a cursed sword. Jarmangle pilfers the sword for himself, and instantly discovers a strange bond with it, almost as if the thing itself were alive.
He picks up the king's body; the pressure plate rises up, and a secret doorway opens in the room with the others. They move through the doorway and find themselves back in the main room, where they place the king on the second throne.
Suddenly, and of their own volition, the two cranks begin to turn, and the door rises up.
The Empty Tomb
There is a pressure plate in this third tomb, but there is no king there, no sign that a king had ever been there, and no relic, be it holy or unholy. What the room does contain, however, is an ancient door, exactly like the one they found in the Firepalm Mine. His ritual stone glowing, Tralamin rightly intuits that this is what he was being drawn to. They have another piece of the puzzle, but still do not possess the knowledge and experience necessary to put it together.
Before they leave, just for the hell of it, Jarmangle jumps on the pressure plate-- and is quickly struck with four arrows that fly out from the walls. They are only flesh wounds, and after a moment he feels almost as good as new.
Filliam suggests that they depress the plate again, to see if it serves any other purpose. He asks Feer and Robyn if either would place their ferret on the plate. Both are horrified. He is quick to assure them that he values the lives of ferrets, but not as much as the lives of the civilized races.
Fire Dwarfs Redux
As they exit the tomb, they find themselves surrounded by a group of insane fire dwarfs-- and one buxom tiefling, who catches Jarmangle's roving eye. The tiefling appears to be working with the crazed fire dwarfs, and Tralamin-- showing his usual firm grasp on the exact opposite of what's going on-- solemnly declares that the dwarfs are there coincidentally, and that there's no way that they, too, could be drawn to the ancient door inside the crypt.
A battle ensues, and though these dwarfs are as simple-minded as their brethren from the mine, they prove much more dangerous when not trapped on small islands surrounded by water. The battle is fierce and hard-fought-- perhaps made more so by the tactics of the female tiefling, who Jarmangle, perhaps unwisely, does not engage in combat. Indeed, even when she attacks him, he persists in making passes at her. Whether or not this bothers Robyn was not a question anyone concerned themselves with, as they were, indeed, fighting for their lives.
But as the tide of battle turned, and the fire dwarfs started to dwindle in number, the tiefling temptress made a run for it. Without her keen assistance, the remaining dwarfs were quickly routed and defeated.
Denouement
Our heroes decided to continue to Hodam, so that they might meet up with Irving. Filliam, however, displayed hesitance, and announced that he was thinking instead of taking up residence in the house of wonders-- to study its mechanisms, read at his leisure the books in its library, and perhaps even to attempt the resurrection of the strange "steam golem" that lay forlorn in its cellar.
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